The Shenoa Report
September 7, 2023
Regular Season Week 1
Welcome back football, welcome back readers, welcome back The Shenoa Report.
This will be my 14th season writing this blog. I started it while I was living in North Carolina. I felt so disconnected from my family, especially my dad, whom I had watched football with the most, that I still wanted an outlet to talk about football. I also had a number of people ask me for my opinion on football and what teams they should root for. And that’s how The Shenoa Report got its start. Please know that I am very biased, and this report is just my opinion! I really just like talking about football.
The last time I wrote, the Eagles and Chiefs were headed to the Super Bowl. I’m going to be honest, I had to look up who played in the Super Bowl because I didn’t remember who the Chiefs played. I just remembered that they won. Now, it makes sense. The Eagles are just completely forgettable to me.
Bryce Young went #1 in the draft to the Panthers. He’s already been named their starting quarterback going into this season.
Some notable moves in the off season include, but not limited to, the Packers moving on from Aaron Rodgers and Randel Cobb. Both guys are still in green, but they are on the opposite coast playing for the J-E-T-S. Speaking of the Jets, they were the team that Hard Knocks followed this preseason. We learned that Aaron Rodgers is intense but also super quirky. The Giants acquired Darren Waller from the Raiders. Let’s just hope and pray he can stay healthy this season. Waller and QB Danny have seemingly already become best friends this preseason and I hope their bond continues to grow. In other Giants news, Danny Jones got paid and Saquon Barkley got the franchise tag and thankfully Barkley didn’t hold out. Maybe this will be their year. I’ve got Giant expectations. In non Giants news, DJ Moore is now a Bear not a Panther and OBJ is now a Raven. Sean Payton is now the head coach of the Broncos and Derek Carr is now the starting quarterback for the Saints. Tray Lance is now the backup to Dak in Dallas, not the starter for the 49ers. Brock Purdy stole the job.
I’ll also be playing fantasy football again this season. We had our draft this Tuesday and fingers crossed, all my players are still healthy coming into week one.
Ready, set, let’s do this!
Now...
WEEK 1
Thursday, September 7th
Lions @ Chiefs (8:20pm NBC)
I decided to draft a quarterback super early this season (round 2) and picked up Patrick Mahomes. I hope he does well for me this season. I don’t like losing. Mahomes may be without TE Travis Kelce for the first time in their NFL career. Kelce is questionable after hyperextending his knee earlier this week. I’m still picking the Chiefs to win this game, the Lions defense isn’t great against elite quarterbacks historically .
Sunday, September 10th
Texans @ Ravens (1pm CBS)
Unless the Texans have gotten miraculously better than last year I think picking the Ravens to win this game is the way to go. I’m picking the Ravens to win and I am also excited to see OBJ play for them.
Bengals @ Browns (1pm CB)
The Browns are sticking with Deshawn Watson as their quarterback but they still have a lot of kinks to work out before they can start winning. I’m picking the Bengals to win this game in this battle of who is best in Ohio.
Buccaneers @ Vikings (1pm CBS)
Now that Tom Brady has retired, for real this time, the Bucs have turned to Baker Mayfield as their QB. The Vikings are sticking with Kirk Cousins. I’ll be rooting for the Bucs but picking the Vikings for the win.
Titans @ Saints (1pm CBS)
The Saints also have a new QB in Derek Carr. We’ll see how he does in the big easy. The Saints will be without Alvin Kamara for a few games as he has been suspended for being dumb (battery charge). The Titans will start Ryan Tannehill at quarterback but there are two backups that are just waiting for him to mess up so they can have a chance. I’m excited to see DeAndre Hopkins catch a lot of passes from Tannehill because, of course, I drafted DeHop in fantasy. I’m picking the Titans to win this game only because we haven’t really seen the Saints be competitive recently.
Panthers @ Falcons (1pm FOX)
Quick, name the Falcons starting quarterback! This rivalry matchup will welcome two new starting quarterbacks to the NFL. Desmond Ridder will get the start for the Falcons and Bryce Young for the Panthers. I don’t expect a lot out of this game. I think the Falcons will win, but only because they are the home team. I don’t have any fantasy implications riding on this game either so I’m really not invested.
Jaguars @ Colts (1pm FOX)
Anthony Richardson will get the start for the Colts. Richardson was the 4th pick overall at this year’s draft. Even though the Colts are at home I don’t think that’s going to be a big enough advantage to get the win. I’m picking the Jags to win this game.
49ers @ Steelers (1pm FOX)
Brock Purdy will get the start for the 49ers after severely messing up his elbow in the Championship game last season against the Eagles. This is the same guy that is also nicknamed Mr. Irrelevant, as he was the very last player picked in the 2022 draft. In other 49ers news, Nick Bosa just got paid, big time. The deal makes Bosa the highest-paid non-quarterback in NFL history. I’d say the 49ers are doing alright. The Steelers, on the other hand, are still “rebuilding”. Kenny Pickett will get the start again this season for the Steelers. I hope he finds WR George Pickens all the time as I drafted Pickens in fantasy. All that being said, I’m picking the 49ers to win this game.
Cardinals @ Commanders (1pm FOX)
Sam Howell has been named the starting quarterback for the Commanders, while the Cardinals are starting a mystery QB. The new head coach in Arizona, Jonathan Gannon, has refused to say who will start at quarterback, citing what he thinks is a competitive advantage. So, clearly, the Cards haven’t stopped imploding from last season. I’m going to pick the Commanders to win this game.
Raiders @ Broncos (4:25pm CBS)
Sean Payton is the Broncos new head coach and I think that’ll help Russell Wilson. I think that the Raiders can go pound sand after the way they treated Derek Carr and Daren Waller. Carr was benched for no reason at all after being their starting quarterback for a long time. Waller was traded to the Giants (I’m not complaining about that part) 10 days after he was married to Las Vegas Aces guard Kelsey Plum. I guess Waller should’ve invited more people to his wedding? I’m picking the Broncos to win just to spite the Raiders.
Dolphins @ Chargers (4:25pm CBS)
I think that both teams are pretty evenly matched. The Dolphins have Tyreek Hill as a top wide receiver but the Chargers have Austin Ekler who is easily one of the best RBs in the league. I think I’m going to pick the Chargers to win their home opener.
Eagles @ Patriots (4:25pm CBS)
Jalen Hurts and Mac Jones will reunite once again this Sunday. Both were teammates in college. I’ll be rooting for the Patriots but I’m not delusional enough to think they’ll win. I’m picking the Eagles to win this game.
Packers @ Bears (4:25pm FOX)
Jordan Love is finally the starting quarterback of the Green Bay Packers. You know, it’s funny, I haven’t spoken to a Packer fan yet that is broken up over the absence of A-A-ron. Interesting. The Bears are sticking with Justin Fields. I think these teams are also evenly matched so it should be a good game. I am going to go against how I picked last year and I am picking the Bears to win this game.
Rams @ Seahawks (4:25pm FOX)
It’s a little crazy to think that the Rams were Super Bowl champions just 2 years ago. They are in real trouble now that Cooper Kupp has been sidelined for another, different injury. I’m picking the Seahawks to win this game and because I drafted DK Metcalf I need him to have all the massive games this year.
Cowboys @ NY Giants (8:20pm NBC)
Oh boy. So, Cowboy fans will say, “we always beat the giants”. Not true. 12 out of the last 13 matchups Dallas has won. Big deal. This game will be different, spoken like a true Giants fan. My fantasy football team’s name is GIANT EXPECTATIONS and I went all in in fantasy. We are in a keeper league so I kept Saquon from last season and then drafted Darren Waller, Graham Gano, and Danny Dimes as my backup QB. The Giants can and should win this game. In Daboll we trust. GO G-MEN! I’m picking the Giants for the win.
Monday September 12th
Bills @ Jets (8:15pm ESPN/ABC)
This game will close out week one and it should be a good one. I drafted the Jets defense, forgetting that this was their first game. I’m pretty sure that if I am up in points heading into this game I’ll probably bench my defense. If you watched Hard Knocks this season you’ll know all about the going ons of the Jets. Aaron Rodgers is all jokes when it's going his way and a lot of cussing when it’s not. I hope there is a lot of cussing going on on the Jets sideline Monday night. I’m picking the Bills to win this game but most importantly, Peyton and Eli will be back with the Manning Cast!
Happy Week One!!!!!
GO GMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the edit Eric!
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