The Shenoa Report Week 4 '23 #theshenoareport

The Shenoa Report

September 28, 2023

Regular Season Week 4

Guys! I went 13-3 on my picks last week! I also won in fantasy, sorry Mom. The Giants didn’t win, shocked face, so I didn’t have to run a mile. And that is my recap of week 3. Just kidding. Here it goes. 

NY Giants @ 49ers 12-30

Welp. At least we got some points in this stomping. It wasn’t fun to watch. Our O-line is terrible. Like, so bad. On the other side of the ball our defensive line finally got their first sack of the season. Woot? Wait.  Ugh. It’s going to be a really long season. 

Colts @ Ravens 22-19 OT

Matt Gay, Colts kicker, scored the most points for the Colts and ultimately won the game in overtime for Indianapolis. More surprising, Gardner Minshew was the winning quarterback. Sorry Ravens fans, I got this pick wrong too. 

Titans @ Browns 3-27

The Browns defense is clutch. I mean, they held Derrick Henry to 20 total rushing yards. That’s INSANE! The Titans have big problems. I will continue to say this until there is a new quarterback under center. Ryan Tannehill is NOT your guy. Also, you’re making DeHop look bad and I take that personally. On the Cleveland side, Deshaun Watson decided to throw touchdowns instead of picks this week, so I’m sure fantasy owners were happy about that. Hopefully, those people who had Nick Chubb were able to pick up Jerome Ford, his replacement. Ford also had a good game with two touchdowns on the day as well. 

Broncos @ Dolphins 20-70

That score is not a typo. That score is a new record for points scored in the NFL. Man, am I glad I’m not a Broncos fan. There was so much insanity in this game I’m not going to even begin to write it all down. The Dolphins scored TEN touchdowns in this game. De’Von Achane had 4 of them. Who? I know, right. Unbelievable. I can’t wait for the Giants to play the Dolphins. What's the over/under on 10 touchdowns? Ugh. 

Patriots @ Jets 15-10

I knew that Bill Belichick wouldn’t allow his team to lose 3 in a row. I knew that the Patriots were the better team. I also know that Zack Wilson might not be the best choice for the starting quarterback for the Jets. I mean, the last score for the Pats was a Zack Wilson sack in the endzone for a safety. 

Bills  @ Commanders 37-3

The Bills are definitely on the right track having solid back to back wins. Their offense is clicking and their defense is really getting things done. The defense caused 5 Jets turnovers in this romping, scoring 30 fantasy points. Thankfully my opponent had benched the Bills defense ahead of the game, otherwise I totally would have lost in fantasy this week. 

 

Falcons @ Lions 6-20

I knew that the Falcons weren’t that good!  The Lions, riddled with injuries, got the job done at home. Jared Goff might have been confused with a gazelle as he ran for a touchdown during the game. Goff had a rushing and receiving touchdown and only one interception. More importantly the Lions defense held the Falcons to just 2 field goals. Solid win Detroit! 

Saints @ Packers 17-18

It was 17-0 in the third quarter when Derek Carr went out with a shoulder injury for the Saints. The Packers wouldn’t score until the 4th quarter. Then it was like the Packers realized that they are indeed the Packers and the Packers do not lose at home. So, they mounted a comeback. It started with a field goal. Later in the fourth quarter Jordan Love had a rushing touchdown and then threw another touchdown pass to Romeo Doubs to take the lead and then the game. 

Texans @ Jaguars 37-17

What in the world is going on with the Jags? At least Christian Kirk got a touchdown to help me out in fantasy. I’m about to go pick up one of the Houston wide receivers off waivers. I mean, who knew C.J. Stroud could throw that many touchdown passes?! 

Chargers @ Vikings 28-24

The Vikings might be playing close games again this season, but one thing is for sure, they aren’t winning any of those close games. On paper the teams are pretty evenly matched up. Keenan Allen vs Justin Jefferson, Joshua Kelley vs Alexander Mattison, Kirk Cousins vs Justin Herbert. Both quarterbacks had 3 passing touchdowns but only one, Cousins, threw an interception. That's just how the cookie crumbles.  

Panthers @ Seahawks 27-37

I’m just glad I started Kenneth Walker. I mean, he’s no De’Von Achane but he did have 97 rushing yards and two rushing touchdowns for the Seahawks. The Seahawks looked a lot better this week than last. The Panthers haven’t been able to get anything going especially with their starting quarterback recovering from an ankle injury. Andy Dalton was able to fill in for Bryce Young but it wasn’t enough to get the win.

 

Cowboys @ Cardinals 16-28

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

I don’t think ANYONE saw this coming. The Cowboys shut out the Giants 40-0. Then the Giants come back to beat the Cardinals 31-28. And now the Cardinals beat the Cowboys 16-28. Any given Sunday, huh? Anytime the Cowboys lose it’s a good day for a Giants fan. Even better, I started James Conner, who of course got another touchdown for me this week. 

Bears @ Chiefs 10-41

I think the biggest news of the week came from this game, or at least who attended this game. That’s right, Taylor Swift was in attendance, watching Travis Kelce. From what I understand Travis went to a Taylor Swift concert this summer with the intention of giving her a friendship bracelet with his number on it. Smooth right? Well, he didn’t get to meet her that night nor give her the bracelet, but something must have happened since then because all the talk on the town is that they are dating now and they were seen together leaving the game. Hopefully this ends better than when Jessica Simpson was dating Tony Romo and everytime she attended a game Tony stunk up the place. 

 

Steelers @ Raiders 23-18

Kenny Pickett had two touchdown passes and no interceptions for the Steelers. Jimmy Garoppolo had two touchdowns but three interceptions in this loss. The Steelers looked like the better team and ruined the Raiders home opener. 

Eagles @ Buccaneers 25-11

I know it doesn’t change the outcome of the game, I just want my readers to know that Baker Mayfield threw fewer interceptions, and the same amount of touchdown passes, as Jalen Hurts. Mayfield only had one interception while Hurts had two. 

Rams  @ Bengals 16-19

Joe Burrow was back for the Bengals and Cincinnati finally got their first win of the season. It wasn’t pretty but it was a win. 

 

 

WEEK 4

Thursday, September 28th

Lions (2-1) @ Packers (2-1) (8:15pm PRIME VIDEO)

Here’s a fun fact. The Lions have beaten the Packers 3 consecutive times, though Green Bay has a “slight edge” of 105-75-7  in its series with Detroit.  The last matchup the Lions kept the Packers out of the playoffs with their win. It was also the last time Aaron Rodgers played for Green Bay. I know it was just last season but a lot has changed since then. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Lions made it four in a row but I’ve got to pick the Packers for the win at home. 

Sunday, October 1st

Falcons (2-1) @ Jaguars (1-2) (9:30am ESPN+)

Note the time and where to watch. This will be the first of many overseas games. Wembley Stadium will host this London game. Even though the Falcons have won more games this season I am giving the edge to the Jags. Jacksonville has played the most overseas games and also has a winning record when doing so. Therefore I’m picking the Jags to win this game, but I’m not sure I’ll start Christian Kirk in fantasy.  

Miami (3-0) @ Bills (2-1) (1pm CBS)

The Dolphins aren’t going to put up 70 points every game. I think this game will bring them back down to earth. I’m not going to go against the Bills at home. I’m rooting for and picking the Bills to win this game. 

Broncos (0-3) @ Bears (0-3) (1pm CBS)

Both teams are HORRIBLE. This game will probably end in a tie. I think I am going to pick the Broncos for the win. I have no idea why. 

Ravens (2-1) @  Browns (2-1)  (1pm CBS)

The Browns defense is so good. I think they have the edge. I am going to pick the Browns to win this game. 

Steelers (2-1) @ Texans (1-2) (1pm CBS)

The Steelers also have a really good defense. Therefore, I am going to pick the Steelers to win this game. 

 

Vikings (0-3) @ Panthers (0-3)  (1pm FOX)

Bryce Young should be back for the Panthers after suffering an ankle injury last week. I don’t know if that’ll be enough to get the win though. I’ll be rooting for the Panthers but I’m picking the Vikings to win this game. 

Rams (1-2) @ Colts (2-1)  (1pm FOX)

Anthony Richardson should also be back for the Colts after suffering a concussion in week 2. I think I’m going to pick the Rams to win this game regardless of who starts for the Colts. 

Buccaneers (2-1) @ Saints (2-1) (1pm FOX)

This should be a good game. I think both teams are evenly matched. If Derek Carr starts for the Saints I’ll pick them to win, but I don’t think it’s likely that he’ll start with a shoulder injury on his throwing side. So I guess I’m picking the Baker Mayfield led Bucs to win this game. 

Commanders (2-1)  @ Eagles (3-0) (1pm FOX)

I’m picking the Eagles to win this game but I don’t like it. 

Bengals (1-2) @ Titans (1-2) (1pm FOX)

I’m picking the Bengals to win only because the Titans haven’t made a quarterback change. 

 

Raiders (1-2) @ Chargers (1-2) (4:05pm CBS)

With Jimmy G still questionable for the Raiders I’m going to pick the Chargers to win this game. 

Patriots (1-2) @ Cowboys (2-1) (4:25pm FOX)

I mean, I’d love to see the Cowboys lose two in a row but I don’t think it’s likely. Let me stress to you I’d still be totally ok with it and after last week it IS possible. With all that said, I’m rooting for the Pats but picking the Cowboys for the win. 

 

Cardinals (1-2) @ 49ers (3-0) (4:25pm FOX)

Yeah, I’m picking the 49ers for the win. 

Chiefs (2-1) @ Jets (1-2) (8:20pm NBC)

I officially dropped the Jets defense and am rolling with the Chiefs defense in fantasy. Plus I’m starting Patrick Mahomes in fantasy. I’m picking the Chiefs to win this game. 

Monday, October 2nd

Seahawks (2-1) @ NY Giants (1-2) (8:15pm ABC/ESPN)

The Giants can win this game and should win this game. But will they? Probably not. Danny Jones does not do well in prime time, our O-line is basically non-existent, and for some reason after a stellar previous season we SUCK this season!  Not to mention we have to play against Geno Smith who ruined Eli Manning's career starts streak. Ugh. Also, I’m playing my partner in fantasy this week and I have to start DK Metcalf and Kenneth Walker if I have any chance of winning, which is also not good news for me and the Giants. Basically, I want the Giants to win in real life and I want to win in fantasy and it all comes down to this game. It’s a perfect storm if you will. For the sake of fantasy and my picks record I am going to pick the Seahawks to win this game. Though, I’d much rather get this pick wrong and lose in fantasy if the Giants do pull off this win. I guess that if and when this game goes sideways we have the Manning Cast to entertain us. Thank god for the Mannings. Go Giants! 

GO G-MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the edit Eric!

The Shenoa Report Week 3 '23 #theshenoareport

The Shenoa Report

September 21, 2023

Regular Season Week 3

Just like that we are onto week 3. I did much better in week two than week one. I went 10-6 in my picks, I won in fantasy even though I didn’t have my best lineup in, AND my Giants came back and also got the W. On the down side week two also brought a lot more injuries. More about that in the recap. I’ve basked in the glory of a Giants win all week, albeit a short week. They play tonight and I’m already dreading the game. More on that later also. First, the recaps. 

Vikings @ Eagles 28-34

I don’t like either team so I was hoping that this game would end in a tie. Oh well, at least I got the pick right. This game was pretty sloppy. Even though they won, the Eagles don’t look as good as they did last season. They allowed the Vikings to score two touchdowns in the fourth quarter. Eagles fans might say, it doesn’t matter, it's garbage time. But it does kinda matter if you ask me. 

Raiders @ Bills 10-38

The Raiders started out really strong with a Davante Adams touchdown just three minutes into the game. But then, that was really it. They had a field goal in the second quarter and were completely shut out in the second half. The Bills on the other hand, have seemingly wiped off their overtime loss from last week and showed their fans what it looks like to dominate again. Hooray for Bills fans everywhere. 

Packers @ Falcons 24-25

I’m as shocked as you! I can’t believe the Falcons won. They’ve been sooooo bad for sooo long that it’s hard to imagine them winning. And they are. The Falcons didn’t allow the Packers to score in the first and fourth quarters of the game. Even though the Falcons trailed for most of the game, they rallied in the fourth quarter and Younghoe Koo kicked a 25-yard field goal with less than a minute to go to win the game.  

Seahawks @ Lions 37-31 OT

This game went back and forth all day long. Of course it took overtime to decide the winner. Geno Smith had his bounce back game and made Tyler Lockett relevant again. Lockett had two touchdowns as did running back Kenneth Walker. Unfortunately DK Metcalf got injured catching the ball for an almost touchdown, he was stopped on the half yard line. He was able to return to the game but I didn’t log any fantasy touchdowns from him this week. Lame. 

Colts @ Texans 31-20

Colts quarterback Anthony Richardson is very talented. He only played a third of the game and then was put into concussion protocol, but not before scoring two rushing touchdowns. Gardner Minshew stepped in for Richardson and led the Colts to victory over the Texans. It’s always nice to beat a division rival.  

Ravens @ Bengals 27-24

Historically, Joe Burrow has had really bad week one’s. He doesn’t fare too much better in week two. I know this now. I shouldn’t have picked the Bengals to win this game. To make matters worse for Cincinnati, Burrow may have aggravated his calf injury that kept him off the field all preseason. I hate to say it but Lamar Jackson and the Baltimore Raven were the better team this time around. 

 

Chiefs @ Jaguars 17-9

Why are the Chiefs playing so badly? I mean, yes, they won, but they didn’t look that great doing it. Former Giant Richie James muffed a punt, Mahomes threw an interception, and good ol’ Kadarius Toney had another fumble this game. Thankfully Travis Kelce was back and caught a touchdown pass. Mahomes’ first touchdown pass went to Skyy Moore. 

Chargers @ Titans 24-27 OT

The Chargers really missed Austin Ekler and I’m mad that the Titans won. 1st because I didn’t pick them, and 2nd because Ryan Tannehill isn’t targeting DeAndre Hopkins enough. DeHop really screwed me in fantasy this week. But would you start Christian Kirk ahead of him? No, no you would not! 

Bears @ Buccaneers 17-27

I know it’s only week two but man am I glad that I didn’t keep Justin Fields when I had the chance in fantasy. Also, is Baker Mayfield in his second coming? Man, he’s doing so well for the Bucs! He hasn’t turned the ball over yet this season. I know Browns fans are jealous and he’s making really smart plays. On the other side of the ball the Bears just logged their 12th consecutive loss. Not a good time to be a Bears fan. 

NY Giants @ Cardinals 31-28

Speaking of not a good time to be a fan… It must be a horrible time to be a Cards fan. Almost as bad as being a Giants fan. As you know, my partner and I play fantasy football. I helped talk him into starting Danny Jones in fantasy as well as the Giants defense. I told him the Giants were totally going to win this game, that it would be a bounce back game, and probably even a blowout. Yeah. She-no-a football? More like She -don’t- no-a football. Yikes. I kept apologizing to him for his lineup. And of course I benched James Conner in fantasy this week because I thought he’d have a horrible game against my G-men. Well, after the Conner touchdown in the first quarter I turned the game off. I mowed the backyard, did some gardening, and took a 30 minute spin bike class instead. I didn’t even know the score was 20-0 at the half. Frickin’ Giants. When the second half started I was basically curled up in the fetal position, pouting on the couch. I could hear a hopeful “OK” from my partner because Danny Dimes had finally completed a pass, a 58-yarder to rookie Jalin Hyatt. As it turns out, Hyatt had told Jones in the huddle to “throw it, just throw it” and Jones did. That completion sparked a comeback. Jones had a rushing touchdown and threw for 321 yards and two passing touchdowns, one to Saquon Barkley and one to Isaiah Hodgins. Barkley also had one rushing touchdown and Graham Gano connected on a 34-yard field goal with 19 seconds remaining to give the Giants an unbelievable comeback win. But it’s not all rainbows and sunshine. On Barkley’s last rush he went down awkwardly and is now believed to have suffered an ankle injury. With the short week for NY I’m pretty sure we won't see number 26 dressed to play against the 49ers. 

49ers @ Rams 30-23

Speaking of the 49ers, they didn’t look as dominant as they did in week one. Don’t get me wrong, they are still going to slaughter the Giants on Thursday but let’s recap this game first. I think more surprisingly the Rams are looking decent, dare I say they don’t even miss Cooper Kupp. They’ve found Kupp’s replacement in rookie Puka Nacua who caught 15 passes for 147 yards. Matt Stafford had a costly turnover late in the 4th otherwise the Rams could’ve won this game. 

 

Jets @ Cowboys 10-30

Jets fans already miss Rodgers. Zach Wilson threw 3 picks in this loss and the Jets defense couldn’t contain the Cowboys like they had last week against the Bills. The Jets D helped me get negative points in fantasy. In other news, I don’t like the Cowboys. 

Commanders @ Broncos 35-33

Russell Wilson and the Broncos did not get the bounce back win they wanted and needed. Early in the game the Broncos looked good but then the Commanders rallied from a 21-3 deficit to take a 35-24 lead late in the 4th. Wilson threw a hail mary touchdown pass to Brandon Johnson to bring the Broncos back within two points but the two point conversion failed even though there was blatant pass interference on the play. Time just ran out on the Broncos. 

 

Dolphins @ Patriots 24-17

Tua Tagovailoa is still undefeated when playing against Bill Belichick. In other news, the Pats haven’t started a season 0-2 since 2001, Belichick’s second season as their head coach and Tom Brady’s rookie season. I think the Patriots are still a good team, they just have some more kinks to work out. Only time will tell. 

Saints @ Panthers 20-17

This game was super sloppy and reminiscent of the Panthers games years ago. It was sad to look at the stands when the camera panned out and didn’t see a full stadium or even a half full stadium. I know I’ve said it before, that’s got to make the home team feel bad! At least I got the pick right… 

Browns  @ Steelers 22-26

Ugh. Nick Chubb. I’m so sorry. The Browns looked like they were going to win the game early. They had Nick Chubb, they had all the momentum. And then Chubb went down. It was so bad that MNF didn’t even show the replay. His season is most likely over. I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t stay up to finish this game. The Browns were actually up when I went to bed but the Steelers won the game despite just one touchdown from their offense. I was just happy that George Pickens had some great catches and a touchdown in this game because he was able to get me enough points to win this week in fantasy! Woot!

 

 

WEEK 3

Thursday, September 21st

NY Giants (1-1) @ 49ers (2-0) (8:15pm PRIME VIDEO)

The Giants will be without four starters including Andrew Thomas, Ben Bredeson, Azeez Ojulari, and Saquon Barkley. I have zero delusions that the Giants can win this game. I’m picking the 49ers for the win. BUT, after talking to "certain people" who have questioned my allegiance to the G-Men, I have promised if they actually pull off this win I will run a mile. I haven't run a mile in YEARS. So. Come on NY make me run a mile!  

Sunday, September 24th

Colts (1-1) @ Ravens (2-0) (1pm CBS)

With Anthony Richardson still in concussion protocol it’s hard to say if he’ll even play for the Colts on Sunday. With this in mind I’m going to pick the Ravens for the win. 

Titans (1-1) @ Browns (1-1) (1pm CBS)

I’m picking the Browns even though they are without Chubb. I mean, the Browns defense only allowed one touchdown against the Steelers last week so they’ll have to clean it up on offense. The good news for the Browns is that the Titans have Ryan Tannehill as their quarterback and Derrick Henry is also questionable for this game. 

This is not good news for me though because I would like DeHop to get me more points than the past two weeks in fantasy but until they make a quarterback change in Tennessee it doesn’t look good for fantasy owners like me. 

Broncos (0-2) @ Dolphins (2-0) (1pm CBS)

Russell Wilson just doesn’t look good, even with a new head coach the Broncos are riding the struggle bus. Therefore, I’m picking the Dolphins to win this game. 

Patriots (0-2) @ Jets (1-1)  (1pm CBS)

The Patriots have a 14 game win streak against the Jets. Also, I don’t know the last time the Patriots started 0-3. History says the Patriots will win this game but I don’t know. I do know that I benched the Jets defense in fantasy this week because I know that Bill Belichick doesn't like losing to division rivals. I also know that the Jets aren’t thrilled with Zack Wilson. Both teams need this win, so it’ll probably end in a tie. I don’t believe the Jets hype anymore. I’m picking the Pats to win this game. (In the first draft of this report I picked the Jets to win this game and have now changed my mind) 

Bills (1-1) @ Commanders (2-0) (1pm CBS)

I’m picking the Bills to give the Commanders their first loss. Get it done Buffalo! The Giants need all the help they can get in the NFC East and a Commanders loss will help with that. 

 

Falcons (2-0) @ Lions (1-1)  (1pm FOX)

The Lions are dealing with a lot more injuries than the Falcons. Josh Reynolds WR,

Amon-Ra St. Brown WR, and David Montgomery RB are all questionable for the Lions. That being said I’m still picking the Lions to win this game. I know that the Falcons are 2-0 but I still don’t think they are as good as their record. 

Saints (1-1) @ Packers (1-1)  (1pm FOX)

I’m picking the Packers to win this game. They are a whole other monster at home. Nothing against the Saints. 

Texans (0-2) @ Jaguars (1-1) (1pm FOX)

I’m picking the Jags to win this game. And for the love of god and all good things please, please, please let Christian Kirk score a few touchdowns. 

Chargers (0-2)  @ Vikings (0-2) (1pm FOX)

The Vikings just traded some late draft picks for Cam Akers from the Rams. I’m sure that really boosts Alexander Maddison’s confidence - that’s sarcasm. I’m picking the Chargers to win this game, 

Panthers (0-2) @ Seahawks (1-1) (4:05pm CBS)

I’m picking the Seahawks for the win. I know that Metcalf is questionable but he’ll play and the Seahawks will dominate! 

 

Cowboys (2-0) @ Cardinals (0-2) (4:25pm FOX)

The ESPN Matchup Predictor is giving the Cards an 11.8% chance to win this game and I think that’s high even though I’ve not seen a lower ranked predictor to date. I’m picking the Cowboys for the win. 

Bears (0-2) @ Chiefs (1-1) (4:25pm FOX)

The Bears are kinda like the Giants this week. You’d have to be delusional to think they could beat their opponent. I’m picking the Chiefs to win this game. 

 

Steelers (1-1) @ Raiders (1-1) (8:20pm NBC)

This should be a good game. I think the Raiders will win it though. 

Monday September 18th

Eagles (2-0) @ Buccaneers (2-0) (7:15pm ABC/ESPN+)

I’ll be rooting for the Bucs but picking the Eagles for the win, hoping I’m wrong

Rams (1-1) @ Bengals (0-2) (8:15pm ESPN/ESPN2)

It’ll all depend on if Joe Burrow plays. If he does, I’m picking the Bengals to get their first win. 

GO G-MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the edit Eric!

The Shenoa Report Week 2 '23 #theshenoareport

The Shenoa Report

September 16, 2023

Regular Season Week 2

Welp, week one is in the books.  There were a LOT of teams that came into this season very, very, very unprepared. That includes my Giants and my fantasy team. I did NOT do well, nor did my favorite football team.  Maybe they should change their name to spiders, because seemingly everyone wants to stomp a spider and that's what happened to the Giants, they got stomped. I really thought at the end of week one no fan could feel as bad as a Giants fan. Then Monday night football happened. Sure Aaron Rodgers is out for the rest of the season with a torn achilles, but the Jets actually scored some points and got the W. Your defense is pretty amazing too. My team though? There is nothing, nothing, nothing about that game that was good or worth writing about.  I’m pretty sure the Jets will still win more games than the team that shares MetLife with them… But I digress. 

So yes, week one is in the books. I went 6-10 in my picks, I’m pretty sure that’s also my worst ever start to a season. After this recap, let’s never look back. 

Lions @ Chiefs 21-20

It was very evident that Patrick Mahomes missed Travis Kelce. It was also evident that the Chiefs wide receivers, as many as there are, were not helpful when it came to catching the ball consistently. At first, I was a little upset that the Giants traded away Kadarius Toney last season and then this preseason they also traded away Richie James to the Chiefs. I thought, yeah this is what the Chiefs need, more wide receivers. I’m not mad at the Giants anymore. In the first half Toney bobbled a perfectly thrown pass from Mahomes that turned into a pick 6 for the Lions. Cool. Then he dropped another great pass late in the fourth quarter, that if it had been caught, it would’ve been a touchdown. Toney finished with 1 point in fantasy while James finished with 1.6 points. I guess the Lions wanted the win more and I guess the Chiefs just looked past this game as an easy W… I started this season 0-1 on my picks. Awesome. I guess I also just looked past this game as an easy win. 

Texans @ Ravens 9-25

The Ravens won this game but also suffered a major loss in doing so. Running back  J.K. Dobbins left the game with a torn achilles. His season is over. The Ravens were also without tight end Mark Andrews who is nursing a quad injury, but Andrews should be back in the lineup next week. The Texans have a lot of work to do with a new quarterback, head coach, and many other “new” people on the team. 

Bengals @ Browns 3-24

I still can’t believe the Browns won this game. I mean, they didn’t look good, but the Bengals somehow looked worse. Joe Burrow, who is the highest paid player in the NFL, racked up a whopping 3.18 points in fantasy. I guess that’s why you pay him the big bucks. I mean the weather didn’t help anyone. It was pouring the entire time. It was a sloppy game. 

Buccaneers @ Vikings 20-17

Baker Mayfield spent the first half of the game really studying the defense and by the second half he had them all figured out. He identified the defensive setup and positioning and knew what cover they were going to run. Mayfield had a very successful second half, which got his new team the win. 

Titans @ Saints 15-16

I was wrong. The Saints came to play. Derek Carr has made the adjustments to help his new team win ball games. But it was the Saints defense that really helped. They picked off Ryan Tannehill 3 times and made his day a nightmare. I think the Titans really should look into another starting QB. He couldn’t find DeHop and Derrick Henry was practically MIA. The Titans are in trouble unless they make some changes. 

Panthers @ Falcons 10-24

Even though the Panthers unveiled the number one draft pick in Bryce Young, it was the Falcons Bijan Robinson that stole the highlight reel. Robinson had his first touchdown and set up another with a long run. On the other hand Young was intercepted twice and didn’t complete a pass longer than 14 yards. Both teams have work to do. But it’s ok, they’ve got the whole season ahead to fix things. 

 

Jaguars @ Colts 31-21

The Jags hadn’t won in Indianapolis the last 5 times they played there. It was becoming “a thing”. But with wide receiver Calvin Ridley back for the Jags and RB Travis Etienne doing his thing, Jacksonville was on point. Colts rookie quarterback Anthony Richardson threw his first interception in the NFL but shook it off and remained calm. I think the Colts are starting to realize they need Jonathan Taylor back asap. 

49ers @ Steelers  30-7

Brock Purdy didn’t look like he had elbow surgery in February of this year. He fell right back into throwing passes and scoring touchdowns. The 49ers were great on offense and seemingly even better on defense. Their defense sacked Kenny Pickett 5 times and intercepted him twice. Pittsburgh either punted or turned the ball over in each of its first five possessions as the 49ers quickly built a 20-0 lead. This was one of the only picks that I got correct, and I wanted the Steelers to do something as I have WR George Pickens in my fantasy lineup. Hopefully, at least Pickens will get better! 

Cardinals @ Commanders 16-20

Sam Howell, the starting quarterback for the Commanders, fared a little better than Joshua Dobbs, the Cardinals  mystery QB. Not naming a starting quarterback heading into the game was the least of the Cardinals problems. They just aren’t good. And I hope they stay that way another week. It may be the only chance the Giants have this season to win a game. I’m sorry, back to talking about this game. Both teams have problems but this was one of the few instances that the home field advantage helped their team win. 

Raiders @ Broncos 17-16

The Raiders spoiled Sean Payton’s first game as the head coach of the Broncos. When Jacobi Myers played in New England the wide receiver had 1 touchdown the entire season. Now that he is a Raider, Jimmy G helped Myers score twice! With this win, and losses by all the other teams in their division, the Raiders sit in first place after week one.  

 

Dolphins @ Chargers 36-34

44.5 points. That’s how many fantasy points Tyreek Hill had at the end of this game. It’s no wonder the Dolphins won. Sorry for your loss to all those people who had to go up against anyone who had Hill in fantasy. The guy is unreal. The plays that he makes are crazy. I wish he played for the Giants. The Chargers looked like they were going to get the win, but then Tyreek happened. Better luck next time Chargers. 

Eagles @ Patriots 25-20

Ok. The Eagles won the game but they didn’t look amazing. They got lucky. Maybe they looked past the Patriots? Maybe the Patriots got a lot better this year? Who knows. Maybe it’s just because it’s week one and crazy things happen in week one. 

Packers @ Bears 38-20

Jordan Love is good. The Packers will be fine without Rodgers. The Bears still need a lot of help. The End. 

Rams @ Seahawks 30-13

What in the world was going on in week one?!?! The Rams, who had been completely written off without Cooper Kupp, had 3 receiving touchdowns? What?! I really didn’t see that coming. I’m not gonna lie, I really expected more from the Seahawks. DK Metcalf only had one touchdown and that is unacceptable. 

 

Cowboys @ NY Giants 40-0

NO. 

I’ve typed. Deleted. Retyped. Deleted. All I can say about this game is. 

NO. 

Bills @ Jets 16-22 OT

Well, this game didn’t go as expected. Aaron Rodgers made it four plays before tearing his achilles. That’s basically the story of Monday night. The Jets Super Bowl dreams have been crushed. It’s a real bummer because the Jets have some really talented players on their roster. Most talented, Garett Wilson, had an amazing touchdown catch to mark the first ever from Zach Wilson.  First Garrett had to deflect the ball away from the defender and then tip it back to himself to then catch it while on his back in the endzone. In other news, the Bills looked awful. They had no excuses. The Jets defense was incredible and ultimately kept them in the game. Fun fact, the defense was my top scorer in fantasy this week. Did I mention I didn’t do well in fantasy? Anyway, The Manning cast was great. I love the banter between Peyton and Eli. Tennis star John McEnroe and retired quarterback for half the teams in the NFL, Ryan Fitzpatrick, were the guests. The end of the game was a walk off punt return in overtime for the Jets unbelievable win. 

 

WEEK 2

Thursday, September 14th

Vikings (0-1) @ Eagles (1-0) (8:15pm PRIME VIDEO)

Sorry I didn’t get to post on Thursday night. Work life got in the way. Damn the man! I picked the Eagles to win before the game started. I get I’m already better at picks than week one, in that I got the first one correct in week 2. 

Sunday, September 17th

Raiders (1-0) @ Bills (0-1) (1pm CBS)

I think the Bills will have a bounce back game. They’ll be playing at home and the sun will be shining. Also, Bills fans will bring all the love and good juju to Buffalo. I’m picking the Bills to win this game. 

Packers (1-0) @ Falcons (1-0) (1pm FOX)

Even though both teams won last week, and neither game was close, I’m picking the Packers to win this game. Jordan Love looked really good. I’ll have to admit I was surprised at his performance. I was also shocked that the Falcons had also won last week. I’ll be equally shocked if they do it again this week. 

Seahawks (0-1) @ Lions (1-0) (1pm FOX)

Well the Lions fans already think they are going to the Super Bowl this year after they knocked off the champions in week one. I don’t know if they are contenders yet but I am picking them to win this game. I just hope it’s really high scoring and Geno Smith can actually find DK Metcalf for more than one touchdown. 

Colts (0-1) @ Texans (0-1)  (1pm FOX)

This will be the game of the rookie quarterbacks facing off for the first time in their NFL careers. C.J. Stroud of the Texans  and Anthony Richardson of the Colts are friends in real life that have known each other since highschool. I’m picking the Texans to win this game, but only because they are the home team. 

Ravens (1-0) @ Bengals (0-1) (1pm CBS)

You know who else needs a bounce back game? That would be the Bengals. They looked so bad last week that they can only improve now, right? The Ravens are already dealing with some serious injuries and will not be playing completely healthy. I am picking the Bengals to bounce back and win their home opener. 

 

Chiefs (0-1) @ Jaguars (1-0)  (1pm CBS)

The Chiefs are also looking to win their own bounce back game. Maybe, they’ll take their opponent a little bit more seriously this week. It should  help that Travis Kelce will be back from missing the first game due to injury. I need a lot of fantasy points from Mahomes so I’m picking the Chiefs to win this game. 

Chargers (0-1) @ Titans (0-1)  (1pm CBS)

The Chargers will most likely be without RB Austin Ekler and that severely hurts their chances of winning this game. As for the Titans, Ryan Tannehill is coming off his worst game of his career and will be looking for a bounce back game himself. I don’t have much confidence in either team. Even if Tannehill does a 180 he’ll most likely be without WR DeAndre Hopkins, which screws me in fantasy. Ugh. I guess I’m picking the Chargers to win this game. 

Bears (0-1) @ Buccaneers (1-0) (1pm FOX)

Baker Mayfield looked much better than Justin Fields did last week at their respective quarterback positions. On that little observation I’m going to say that the Buccaneers will win this week as they go up against the Bears. 

NY Giants (0-1)  @ Cardinals (0-1) (4:05pm FOX)

The Cardinals are ranked 31 and the Giants are ranked 32 in the NFL after week one. Good news Giants fans, we can only go up from here. We are already at rock bottom. Sure, if we win we’ll be ranked 31, but that’s better than rock bottom. Sorry Cardinals fans, you’ll be seeing rock bottom soon if we can pull off this win. I am going against my rule of only picking the Giants after they win because if they don’t win this game I don’t think they’ll be able to win another game this season. Therefore, I am picking the Giants to win this game. Go G-men. 

49ers (1-0) @ Rams (1-0) (4:05pm FOX)

It’s a good thing the Rams won last week cause I’m pretty sure they are going to lose this game. Well, maybe it won’t be as much the Rams losing but the 49ers winning. I am picking the 49ers to win this game. 

 

Jets (1-0) @ Cowboys (1-0) (4:25pm CBS)

It would be really great if the Jets could beat the Cowboys. I’ll be rooting for the Jets, that’s for sure but I’m picking the other team for the win. 

Commanders (1-0) @ Broncos (0-1) (4:25pm CBS)

The theme of this week is bounce back games and that’s what the Broncos need as well. Russell Wilson needs to take his team on his back and beat the Commanders. And that’s what I’m picking. I’m picking the Broncos for the win. 

 

Dolphins (1-0) @ Patriots (0-1) (8:20pm NBC)

If the Patriots can bottle up Tyreek Hill they have a chance to win this game. I’ll be rooting for the Patriots but I’m not sure they have what it takes to stop Hill. Not so fun fact for Patriots fans, Tua Tagovailoa is undefeated when playing against Bill Belichick. Sorry Pats fans, I’m picking the Dolphins to win this game. 

Monday September 18th

Saints (1-0) @ Panthers (0-1) (7:15pm ESPN)

I’m going with the more experienced quarterback in this matchup. I’m picking Derek Carr to lead the Saints to win this game. 

Browns (1-0) @ Steelers (0-1) (8:15pm ABC)

Will this be the last bounce back game of week 2? I know Steelers fans would like this to be the case. These two teams do not like each other. When they meet up it’s always a good rivalry game. The Browns seem to be the Steelers kryptonite. So we’ll just have to wait and see. I have George Pickens on my fantasy team so I’m going to have to pick the Steelers to win this game. 

GO G-MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the edit Eric!

The Shenoa Report Week 1 '23 #theshenoareport

The Shenoa Report

September 7, 2023

Regular Season Week 1

Welcome back football, welcome back readers, welcome back The Shenoa Report. 

This will be my 14th season writing this blog. I started it while I was living in North Carolina. I felt so disconnected from my family, especially my dad, whom I had watched football with the most, that I still wanted an outlet to talk about football. I also had a number of people ask me for my opinion on football and what teams they should root for. And that’s how The Shenoa Report got its start. Please know that I am very biased, and this report is just my opinion! I really just like talking about football. 

The last time I wrote, the Eagles and Chiefs were headed to the Super Bowl. I’m going to be honest, I had to look up who played in the Super Bowl because I didn’t remember who the Chiefs played. I just remembered that they won. Now, it makes sense. The Eagles are just completely forgettable to me. 

 

Bryce Young went #1 in the draft to the Panthers. He’s already been named their starting quarterback going into this season. 

 

Some notable moves in the off season include, but not limited to, the Packers moving on from Aaron Rodgers and Randel Cobb. Both guys are still in green, but they are on the opposite coast playing for the J-E-T-S. Speaking of the Jets, they were the team that Hard Knocks followed this preseason. We learned that Aaron Rodgers is intense but also super quirky.  The Giants acquired Darren Waller from the Raiders. Let’s just hope and pray he can stay healthy this season.  Waller and QB Danny have seemingly already become best friends this preseason and I hope their bond continues to grow. In other Giants news, Danny Jones got paid and Saquon Barkley got the franchise tag and thankfully Barkley didn’t hold out. Maybe this will be their year. I’ve got Giant expectations. In non Giants news, DJ Moore is now a Bear not a Panther and OBJ is now a Raven. Sean Payton is now the head coach of the Broncos and Derek Carr is now the starting quarterback for the Saints.  Tray Lance is now the backup to Dak in Dallas, not the starter for the 49ers. Brock Purdy stole the job. 

I’ll also be playing fantasy football again this season. We had our draft this Tuesday and fingers crossed, all my players are still healthy coming into week one. 

 

Ready, set, let’s do this! 

 

Now...

 

WEEK 1

Thursday, September 7th

Lions @ Chiefs (8:20pm NBC)

I decided to draft a quarterback super early this season (round 2) and picked up Patrick Mahomes. I hope he does well for me this season. I don’t like losing. Mahomes may be without TE Travis Kelce for the first time in their NFL career. Kelce is questionable after hyperextending his knee earlier this week. I’m still picking the Chiefs to win this game, the Lions defense isn’t great against elite quarterbacks historically . 

Sunday, September 10th

Texans @ Ravens (1pm CBS)

Unless the Texans have gotten miraculously better than last year I think picking the Ravens to win this game is the way to go. I’m picking the Ravens to win and I am also excited to see OBJ play for them. 

Bengals @ Browns (1pm CB)

The Browns are sticking with Deshawn Watson as their quarterback but they still have a lot of kinks to work out before they can start winning. I’m picking the Bengals to win this game in this battle of who is best in Ohio. 

Buccaneers @ Vikings (1pm CBS)

Now that Tom Brady has retired, for real this time, the Bucs have turned to Baker Mayfield as their QB. The Vikings are sticking with Kirk Cousins. I’ll be rooting for the Bucs but picking the Vikings for the win. 

Titans @ Saints  (1pm CBS)

The Saints also have a new QB in Derek Carr. We’ll see how he does in the big easy. The Saints will be without Alvin Kamara for a few games as he has been suspended for being dumb (battery charge). The Titans will start Ryan Tannehill at quarterback but there are two backups that are just waiting for him to mess up so they can have a chance. I’m excited to see DeAndre Hopkins catch a lot of passes from Tannehill because, of course, I drafted DeHop in fantasy. I’m picking the Titans to win this game only because we haven’t really seen the Saints be competitive recently. 

Panthers @ Falcons (1pm FOX)

Quick, name the Falcons starting quarterback! This rivalry matchup will welcome two new starting quarterbacks to the NFL. Desmond Ridder will get the start for the Falcons and Bryce Young for the Panthers. I don’t expect a lot out of this game. I think the Falcons will win, but only because they are the home team. I don’t have any fantasy implications riding on this game either so I’m really not invested. 

 

Jaguars @ Colts (1pm FOX)

Anthony Richardson will get the start for the Colts. Richardson was the 4th pick overall at this year’s draft. Even though the Colts are at home I don’t think that’s going to be a big enough advantage to get the win. I’m picking the Jags to win this game. 

49ers @ Steelers  (1pm FOX)

Brock Purdy will get the start for the 49ers after severely messing up his elbow in the Championship game last season against the Eagles. This is the same guy that is also nicknamed Mr. Irrelevant, as he was the very last player picked in the 2022 draft. In other 49ers news, Nick Bosa just got paid, big time. The deal makes Bosa the highest-paid non-quarterback in NFL history. I’d say the 49ers are doing alright. The Steelers, on the other hand, are still “rebuilding”. Kenny Pickett will get the start again this season for the Steelers. I hope he finds WR George Pickens all the time as I drafted Pickens in fantasy. All that being said, I’m picking the 49ers to win this game. 

Cardinals @ Commanders (1pm FOX)

Sam Howell has been named the starting quarterback for the Commanders, while the Cardinals are starting a mystery QB. The new head coach in Arizona, Jonathan Gannon, has refused to say who will start at quarterback, citing what he thinks is a competitive advantage. So, clearly, the Cards haven’t stopped imploding from last season. I’m going to pick the Commanders to win this game. 

Raiders @ Broncos (4:25pm CBS)

Sean Payton is the Broncos new head coach and I think that’ll help Russell Wilson. I think that the Raiders can go pound sand after the way they treated Derek Carr and Daren Waller. Carr was benched for no reason at all after being their starting quarterback for a long time. Waller was traded to the Giants (I’m not complaining about that part) 10 days after he was married to Las Vegas Aces guard Kelsey Plum. I guess Waller should’ve invited more people to his wedding? I’m picking the Broncos to win just to spite the Raiders. 

 

Dolphins @ Chargers (4:25pm CBS)

I think that both teams are pretty evenly matched. The Dolphins have Tyreek Hill as a top wide receiver but the Chargers have Austin Ekler who is easily one of the best RBs in the league. I think I’m going to pick the Chargers to win their home opener. 

Eagles @ Patriots (4:25pm CBS)

Jalen Hurts and Mac Jones will reunite once again this Sunday. Both were teammates in college. I’ll be rooting for the Patriots but I’m not delusional enough to think they’ll win. I’m picking the Eagles to win this game. 

Packers @ Bears (4:25pm FOX)

Jordan Love is finally the starting quarterback of the Green Bay Packers. You know, it’s funny, I haven’t spoken to a Packer fan yet that is broken up over the absence of A-A-ron. Interesting. The Bears are sticking with Justin Fields. I think these teams are also evenly matched so it should be a good game. I am going to go against how I picked last year and I am picking the Bears to win this game. 

Rams @ Seahawks (4:25pm FOX)

It’s a little crazy to think that the Rams were Super Bowl champions just 2 years ago. They are in real trouble now that Cooper Kupp has been sidelined for another, different injury. I’m picking the Seahawks to win this game and because I drafted DK Metcalf I need him to have all the massive games this year. 

 

Cowboys @ NY Giants (8:20pm NBC)

Oh boy. So, Cowboy fans will say, “we always beat the giants”. Not true. 12 out of the last 13 matchups Dallas has won. Big deal. This game will be different, spoken like a true Giants fan. My fantasy football team’s name is GIANT EXPECTATIONS and I went all in in fantasy. We are in a keeper league so I kept Saquon from last season and then drafted Darren Waller, Graham Gano, and Danny Dimes as my backup QB. The Giants can and should win this game. In Daboll we trust. GO G-MEN! I’m picking the Giants for the win. 

Monday September 12th

Bills @ Jets (8:15pm ESPN/ABC)

This game will close out week one and it should be a good one. I drafted the Jets defense, forgetting that this was their first game. I’m pretty sure that if I am up in points heading into this game I’ll probably bench my defense. If you watched Hard Knocks this season you’ll know all about the going ons of the Jets. Aaron Rodgers is all jokes when it's going his way and a lot of cussing when it’s not. I hope there is a lot of cussing going on on the Jets sideline Monday night. I’m picking the Bills to win this game but most importantly, Peyton and Eli will be back with the Manning Cast!

Happy Week One!!!!!

GO GMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the edit Eric!