The Shenoa Report
October 12, 2023
Regular Season Week 6
Do you play fantasy football? Week 5 introduced bye weeks. How did you fare? I won by 0.72 of a point. Yikes! A win is a win right? I did not do well on my picks, 7-7, and obviously the Giants lost. At this point I hope the Giants tank the rest of the season and get the first draft pick in the 2024 draft. I mean we are already ranked 32. Worst team in the NFL. Burn it all down and start over! I’ve got my eyes on Caleb Williams, quarterback of USC, 2022 Heisman winner, and he wears number 13! #WinLessForWilliams. Let’s go!
I know we are only a quarter of the way through the season, but as a Giants fan, our season was over before it even began.
Before we get to week 6 let’s recap week 5.
Bears @ Commanders 40-20
I don’t think anyone saw this coming. I know I didn’t get this pick right, that’s for sure. The Bears finally showed why they traded for DJ Moore. Moore had 230 receiving yards, 3 touchdowns, and 49 fantasy points. I’m so glad I didn’t have to go up against him this week! Justin Fields also had a stellar game with 282 passing yards, 4 touchdowns, and 57 rushing yards. I think that the Commanders looked past this game and that's why they lost.
Jaguars @ Bills 25-20
Jacksonville showed that they still had the advantage in their second consecutive London game. I think that the Bills also looked past this game and have paid the price with a loss to a mediocre team. The Bills defense struggled, not being able to stop the run. Travis Etienne had 136 rushing yards and two touchdowns in this win over Buffalo. Josh Allen had 359 yards and two touchdowns but also had a costly interception.
Titans @ Colts 16-23
The big news in this game was that Jonathan Taylor finally got paid and was back in uniform for the Colts. But it was Zack Moss that stole the show. Moss had 23 carries for 165 rushing yards and two touchdowns on the day. Jonathan Taylor had 6 carries and a total of 34 yards… I guess my picking the Titans to win did in fact secure the Colts victory.
Saints @ Patriots 34-0
“Here’s something new, the Patriots are also winless at home this season. I think that changes this week. I am picking the Patriots to win this game over the Saints.” Yup, I couldn’t have been more wrong on this pick. What in the world is happening with the Patriots? For the second week in a row Mac Jones was benched during the game and Bailey Zappy took over for the Pats. As it turns out, the Patriots are still winless at home. It’s going to be a long season for New England fans.
Ravens @ Steelers 10-17
The Ravens thought they had this game won in the third quarter after they shut out the Steelers and had only allowed a field goal in the first half. But then the Steelers said, ummm no, not so fast! There is still one more quarter to play! The Steelers then went on to score two touchdowns in the fourth quarter while shutting out the Ravens to win the game. Also, George Pickens got me some very nice points in fantasy with 130 yards and a touchdown.
Texans @ Falcons 19-21
The Falcons decided that they really only needed to score points in the first and fourth quarter. Younghoe Koo had a walk-off field goal to win the game. It was a close game but not very exciting. All I really know is that Tank Dell, wide receiver for the Texans, went out of the game in the second quarter with a concussion. This is not cool. 1. Concussions aren’t good. 2. Dell was in my flex spot in fantasy and only logged 8 points before his exit. I’m pretty sure the Texans would have won the game if Dell played the entire game.
Panthers @ Lions 24-42
In fantasy football picking a defense is all about strategy. The Panthers are atrocious so I thought it would be ok to pick up the Lions defense. It was a good move until garbage time. Garbage time is defined when a game has become a blowout and the final result has been determined, but there's still time left on the clock. The defense for the winning team starts playing more conservatively, which can lead to “garbage time points” for the trailing offense. This is exactly what happened to my defense. The Lions allowed the Panthers to score two touchdowns in the fourth quarter so I only finished with 7 points when I could have had at least 11 points from that defense. Not cool.
NY Giants @ Dolphins 16-31
See my rant in the opening. There is so much to say about the Giants and none of it is good. Ok, one good thing. The Defense did have two interceptions, one of which was a pick six, but they also allowed 31 points to be scored. So…
Now let’s look at the offensive side of the ball… Yup, still awful.
Josh Ezeudu was in tears at his locker. He blames himself for letting Danny Jones get hurt. Ezeudu was moved into Andew Thomas’ position while he’s out with injury.
Evan Neal is going after fans.
Darren Waller is letting the defense know that “as an offense we have to do more to help you guys out.”
Saquon is still hurt.
Danny is still awful and now has a neck injury.
Andew Thomas is still out.
It’s really bad.
Let’s elaborate on offensive linemen Evan Neal. I guess he got all butt hurt last week when fans were, rightfully so, booing the team at MetLife. He said some pretty weird things, like "boo louder" and wondered why he would concern himself with the opinion of those who "flip hot dogs and flip hamburgers," Ummm? What? First of all, maybe actually do your job, like try protecting your quarterback, and the fans wouldn’t boo you! Saquon weighed in after these absurd comments saying "My advice I would give to him or any teammate is never pick a battle with the fans. Never going to win that one. They've been here before us and will be here after us. That's just the truth.”
Saquon is smart. Be like Saquon not like Evan Neal.
Ugh. I’m done. If you want a recap of the game or to read anything about the Dolphins there is a lot of content on ESPN. #WinLessForWilliams
Bengals @ Cardinals 34-20
Hey, hey! The Bengals are back. Joe Burrow and Ja’marr Chase had a heck of a day against the Cards. Chase had 15 receptions for 192 yards and 3 touchdowns! Bengals fans and fantasy managers are breathing a sigh of relief. Unfortunately for the Cardinals, and James Conner fantasy managers, Conner was forced out of the game in the second quarter with a knee injury. I’m one of those managers. Damnit!
Eagles @ Rams 23-14
The good news for the Rams is they got Cooper Kupp back and he didn’t miss a beat. The bad news is they still lost to the Eagles.
Jets @ Broncos 31-21
This was definitely a revenge game for Nathaniel Hackett who was the head coach of the Broncos last year until he got fired and is now coaching with the Jets. It must have been nice for Hackett to go into his old stadium and finally get a win.
Chiefs @ Vikings 27-20
There were injuries on both teams and those seem to be what all the talk is about. On the Vikings side, wide receiver Justin Jefferson left the game with a hamstring injury. He is expected to miss multiple weeks. On the Chiefs side, tight end Travis Kelce suffered an ankle injury but got all taped up and came back into the game and even caught a touchdown. Obviously the Jefferson injury is more substantial but because of Taylor Swift everyone also likes to talk about Kelce.
Cowboys @ 49ers 10-42
I usually don’t like blowouts unless it’s my team doing the walloping but I loved this game. I guess I also like blowouts when one of the teams I loathe also gets walloped. Thank you 49ers for showing the Cowboys a good time. Mr. Irrelevant had 4 passing touchdowns, three of which went to tight end George Kittle. Kittle, who turned 30 on Monday, revealed he was wearing a "F*** Dallas" t-shirt under his uniform in a birthday post on Instagram. I’m gonna need one of those shirts too, George!
Packers @ Raiders 13-17
This game was super boring. Thank god we had the Manningcast to fall back on. Desmond Howard and Jimmy Kimmel were the guests this week. Kimmel and the Mannings made fun of Raiders owner Mark Davis’ haircut. That was the highlight of the game. That and when Eli pulled out a massive fat head of an elongated Peyton Manning forehead. Other than that the actual game was pretty boring. It seemed that no one really wanted to win this game. Neither team looked especially good.
WEEK 6
Thursday, October 12th
Broncos (1-4) @ Chiefs (4-1) (8:15pm PRIME VIDEO)
I’ve been waiting for the Chiefs to have a massive game where Patrick Mahomes puts up 40 points in fantasy. I’m hoping this is one of those days. My opponent in fantasy is projected to slaughter me so I need all of my guys to go off. It all starts with Mahomes. I’m picking the Chiefs for the win.
Sunday, October 15th
Ravens (3-2) @ Titans (2-3) (9:30am NFLN)
For the third week in a row London will host an NFL game. This game will be played at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. I think being in London tends to even the playing field for both teams. Like, last week, if the Bills were actually playing at home they would’ve crushed the Jags. Therefore, this game is really up for grabs. There is no home field advantage. I just need DeAndre Hopkins to have a stellar game, but I guess I’m picking the Ravens to win.
Commanders (2-3) @ Falcons (3-2) (1pm CBS)
I’m going to pick the Falcons to win this game. They are still undefeated at home and I hope that stays the same. Basically I don’t want any team in the NFC East to win if the Giants can’t.
Seahawks (3-1) @ Bengals (2-3) (1pm CBS)
The Seahawks will be fresh off their bye week so hopefully Kenneth Walker and DK Metcalf have a phenomenal game. Yes, they are both on my fantasy team and yes, I’ll need the points desperately. The Bengals had their first competitive game last week and will be carrying that momentum into this game. I’m going to pick the Bengals to win again at home, I just hope it's a high scoring game.
Colts (3-2) @ Jaguars (3-2) (1pm CBS)
The Colts will be without quarterback Anthony Richardson, who is on IR after a shoulder injury from last week’s game. The Jags are coming back from London so their internal clocks might be a little messed up. The Jags have already beaten the Colts once this season and I think they’ll do it again. I am picking the Jags to win this game.
Panthers (0-5) @ Dolphins (4-1) (1pm CBS)
Yeah, this is kind of a no brainer. I’m picking the Dolphins to win this game.
Vikings (1-4) @ Bears (1-4) (1pm FOX)
The Vikings will be without Justin Jefferson as he is also on IR after a hamstring injury sustained in last week’s game. The Vikings were barely competitive with Jefferson. Now the Bears have their own troubles but they got their first win last week. I’m picking the Bears to win this game too.
49ers (5-0) @ Browns (2-2) (1pm FOX)
I’m just going to come right out and say it. The 49ers are the best team in the NFL this season. The Browns are coming off their bye so they should be all rested up but I don’t think it’ll be enough to win this game. I am picking the 49ers for the W.
Saints (3-2) @ Texans (2-3) (1pm FOX)
It’s pretty incredible that Texans quarterback C.J. Stroud has not thrown an interception yet in his NFL career. Will that remain the same this week? The Saints defense has had at least one interception in all but one game this season, and that was against the Colts who rarely throw the ball. This might be the end of Stroud’s streak. The Saints are coming off a win and the Texans a loss. I think I’m going to pick the Saints to win this game.
Patriots (1-4) @ Raiders (2-3) (4:05pm CBS)
I saw a headline the other day that said, “Patriots owner Robert Kraft open to firing Bill Belichick if New England’s struggles continue.” I really never thought I’d read a headline like that. With that being said I’m picking the Raiders to win this game.
Lions (4-1) @ Buccaneers (3-1) (4:25pm FOX)
The Bucs are also fresh off their bye and the Lions fresh off a statement win last week. Last year I wouldn’t have but this year I’m picking the Lions to win this game and I hope they do well, because I think I’m starting their defense in fantasy.
Cardinals (1-4) @ Rams (2-3) (4:25pm FOX)
I think that the Rams are better than their record shows and now that James Conner is on IR for the Cards I don’t think they are at all competitive. I’m picking the Rams to win this game.
Eagles (5-0) @ Jets (2-3) (4:25pm FOX)
In this battle of the Green I’ll be rooting for the Jets but picking the Eagles to win the game.
NY Giants (1-4) @ Bills (3-2) (8:20pm NBC)
When the season schedule was released, far before the season started, I was so excited for this game! I was looking at tickets and making plans with friends and family. The tickets were expensive but it’s been YEARS since I’ve seen my G-Men play. Also, I’ve always wanted to see a Bills game. This was going to be the perfect game to attend. Then the season started and I quickly realized that I didn’t want to pay $200+ to sit in the freezing cold and watch my team get stomped. I will not be attending this game and just this week bought another Bills t-shirt. Yes, of course, I’m still rooting for the sorry excuse of a team the Giants are but, I am picking the Bills to win this game. I won’t even be mad because at least my AFC team will win. Yes, I’ve decided once again I need an AFC team because my NFC team is SO BAD! It’s not the first time I’ve had an AFC team. I’m sure you know the story but I’ll tell it again. When I was in 10th grade the Colts were HORRIBLE and I thought they needed more fans to cheer for them and help them win. So I decided that I was going to be a Colts fan. The very next season they drafted Payton Manning. It was a dream world of magic for years. When Manning left the Colts I dropped the team. Well now, I can’t drop the Giants because they are my forever team but I have decided that I can pick up another team from the AFC and I’ve decided on the Bills.
Monday, October 16th
Cowboys (3-2) @ Chargers (2-2) (8:15pm ABC/ESPN)
I’d like to see the Chargers win, and I’ll be rooting for them to do so, but I’m pretty sure the Cowboys will bounce back after their terrible loss to the 49ers. I’m picking Dallas to win this game.
GO G-MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the edit Eric!
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