The Shenoa Report Week 8 '23 #theshenoareport

The Shenoa Report

October 29, 2023

Regular Season Week 8

I’ve procrastinated. It’s now Sunday again. Week 8. Week 7 sucked. Guys, I lost in fantasy this past week and went 4-9 in my picks. It was super humiliating and humbling. Like, should I even be writing this silly blog? Do I even know football?

Needless to say I’ve been putting off writing this blog because I’m not happy about this whole football thing. Thankfully, the Giants actually won this past week and that’s the only highlight I see. Though I did get that pick wrong too. Because I did so badly on picks I want to see where I went wrong, therefore, I am going to keep the words I wrote last week in italics and then recap what really happened. 

Anyway, there are no byes in week 8 so there is a good chance your team could win or lose, or tie I suppose. Regardless, no one gets a rest this week.  Also, also, the trade deadline for the NFL is this Tuesday. Tuesday is also Halloween so some spooky trades could happen. 

Before we get to week 8 let’s recap week 7.

Jaguars @ Saints 31-24

Trevor Lawrence is still listed as questionable but aims to play through a sprained left knee. This doesn’t sound good for the Jags.  I really think that the Saints are due for a win. I’m picking the Saints to win this game. 

I got this pick wrong. Lawrence did indeed play with an injury and the Saints let the Jags win. I mean I was excited that Christian Kirk got a touchdown at the end of the game but I was not excited that my opponent had Travis Etienne who had two rushing touchdowns. I had a feeling at the end of this game that my fantasy football matchup would end in me losing another week. My opponent already had over 40 points and I had 18. Not a good start for me. 

Browns @ Colts 39-38

I’m picking the Browns to win this game. I mean, after beating the 49ers, what can’t they do? In other news, the Colts will be without Anthony Richardson for the rest of the season as he had season ending surgery on his shoulder earlier this week. 

The Browns almost blew it. They got super lucky. I actually did get this pick correct. Backup quarterback PJ Walker took the majority of the snaps as Deshaun Watson is still “injured”. The Browns are a mess but they are making it work, thanks to their defense. Myles Garrett continues to be elite and Kareem Hunt’s comeback has been worthwhile. 

The Colts on the other hand, are more of a mess than the Browns. 

Bills @ Patriots 25-29

I’m picking the Bills to win this game. Sorry Pats fans. 

Wait? What? How did the one-win Patriots beat the Bills? I got this pick wrong. I guess Bill Belichick still has the Bills’ number. This W gave Belichick his 300th career win.  I don’t think Bill would mention this but every Patriots fan would, especially because it came against Buffalo.  I also read something recently that Josh Allen only plays as well as the opponent's quarterback. Interesting. It’s like saying that the Bills play to the level of their opponent but more targeted. Honestly I think this is just another example of the Bills looking past another game, thinking it would be an easy win. 

Commanders @ NY Giants  7-14

I guess it depends on who plays this game. If Danny starts for the Giants I’m picking the Commanders to win. If Tyrod starts, well I think the Giants have a better chance at a win, but will probably still lose. If Danny was 100% healthy I might feel different. Jones is 5-1 against Washington. I know this is a game that the Giants could win, but will they? Probably not. With all that said, ugh. I don’t know. I’m already so disappointed in the Giants. It’s really hard to pick them to win anything. I’m picking the Commanders to win this game. I’d rather get this pick wrong than pick the Giants to win and get the pick wrong and watch my team lose. 

Can you feel the angst in my voice? Yeah, I got this pick wrong too but I’m ok with it. I’m very happy that the Giants won. I am very glad that Tyrod played again. The first half of the game the Giants totally dominated. They looked good on offense and defense. I was impressed. Tyrod threw two touchdown passes in the 2nd quarter, one to Darren Waller and the other to Saquon Barkley. We were up 14-0 going into the half. Unfortunately Sterling Shepard muffed a punt in the third quarter which gave Washington the momentum and they were able to score a touchdown off the turnover. Thankfully again the defense stepped up and didn’t let them score after that. It was a good win and the ONLY silver lining to this garbage of a football week. 

Lions @ Ravens 6-38

I’m picking the Lions to win this game and I hope they do! I’m starting Detroit's TE Sam LaPorta and the Lions defense in fantasy. 

I’d like to thank the Lions defense for personally handing me my fantasy loss. NEGATIVE SIX POINTS is what they “put up”. I’m dropping the Lions defense. Obviously I got this pick wrong too. Damnit! 

Raiders @ Bears 12-30

I’m pretty sure that the Bears will be without Justin Fields (thumb injury) and even if the Raiders don’t have Jimmy G (back injury) I am picking the Raiders to win this game. 

Hah! OK. Neither starting quarterback played this game. I got that right. But I didn’t get the pick correct. The Raiders started Brian Hoyer who threw for 129 yards and two interceptions.  The Bears started Tyson Bagent. Who? Bagent, who went undrafted out of a Division II school, Shepherd University. Bagent led three touchdown drives, one of which was a passing touchdown that went to D’Onta Foreman. I’m pretty sure that this is the first time in NFL history that an undrafted quarterback from a D2 college got an NFL start and win. 

 

Falcons @ Buccaneers 16-13

The Bucs don’t have a great home record (1-2) but the Falcons haven’t won on the road yet. I’m picking the Bucs to bounce back and win this game. 

Wrong again. It’s pretty embarrassing when a quarterback doesn’t throw any touchdowns, has three fumbles, and his team wins the game. That’s Desmond Ridder for ya, lucky SOB. Baker Mayfield was the unlucky one. He had a touchdown pass in the first quarter but threw an interception in the fourth that ended their chance of a win. 

Steelers @ Rams 24-17

The Steelers are fresh off their bye but I’m picking the Rams to win this game for no other reason than Cooper Kupp being back in the lineup. 

I have got to stop picking the Rams to win games. I don’t think I’ve gotten a Rams pick correct this season. Long story short, the Steelers just outplayed the Rams. I didn’t get a touchdown from George Pickens, and that hurts my feelings and my fantasy team. 

Cardinals @ Seahawks 10-20

I’m picking the Seahawks to win and for the love of god please could DK Metcalf not be injured and have a great game!? Kenneth Walker too. Please and thank you. 

I got the pick right! But Walker didn’t score a touchdown for me and Metcalf did not play, which was a bummer, and probably another reason I lost in fantasy. Though I did take Metcalf out of my lineup, I just didn’t pick a good enough replacement. Also the Detroit defense. Yeah, I’m still mad about that. 

Packers @ Broncos 17-19

The Packers are also fresh off their bye and they get the struggling Broncos. I’m picking the Packers to win this game. 

Like the Rams, I have got to stop picking the Packers to win games. They are bad. They are not good. I mean, when the Broncos, who only had 1 win coming into this game, win… It’s not a good look. 

Chargers @ Chiefs 17-31

I’m picking the Chiefs to win. Damnit Chiefs do better, put up a lot more points! 

Hey hey, I got this pick correct too! I have nothing to complain about here. The Chiefs did do better and Patrick Mahomes got me a lot of points in fantasy. I actually thought I had a chance to win in fantasy after this game. I was up and projected to win.. 

Dolphins @ Eagles 17-31

Oh man, I’ll be rooting for the Dolphins but I’ll be picking the Eagles to win. I don’t think the Eagles will lose two in a row. 

Have I mentioned I don’t like the Eagles? I got the pick correct but my opponent had stupid AJ Brown. Another long story short, I was no longer projected to win. Instead, I lost by 20 points. Sad face. 

49ers @ Vikings 17-22

I’m picking the 49ers to bounce back and get this win over the Vikings. 

Thank god for the Manningcast. Tiffany Haddish, Clay Thompson, and Aaron Rodgers were the guests. Clay was my favorite but Rodgers’ audio was really bad so I didn’t really get much of what the conversation was. I did appreciate Eli’s facial expressions though because you could tell that he was also annoyed.  This game was  stupid. I still can’t believe the 49ers lost. Maybe they were taking a page out of the Bills book? Play down to your opponent’s level. Brock Purdy has come back down to earth. He lost his second NFL game and threw two interceptions for the first time. In other news, I think I might have to drop kicker Jake Moody. I can’t have two positions on my fantasy team get negative points. 

Thank god week 7 is over! 

 WEEK 8

Thursday, October 26th

Buccaneers (3-3) @ Bills (4-3) (8:15pm PRIME VIDEO)

Welp. The Bills NEED to bounce back. They need to win this game. I’m picking Buffalo for the win. 

Sunday, October 29th

Patriots (2-5) @ Dolphins (5-2) (1pm CBS)

This is a division rival in which the Dolphins should win. But after last week with the Dolphins losing and the Pats winning, I just don’t know. I am going to pick the Dolphins to win. 

Jaguars (5-2) @ Steelers (4-2) (1pm CBS)

Well, both teams are playing really good football. Trevor Lawrence is still dealing with a sprained knee, but it didn’t seem to hinder him at all last week. On paper the Jags are definitely the better team but I don’t want to count out the Steelers. I guess with all that said, I’m picking the Jags to win. 

NY Jets (3-3) @ NY Giants  (2-5) (1pm CBS)

Once again the Jets have the better team on paper. Danny Jones, who has missed the last two games due to injury still has more interceptions and fewer touchdowns than Zach Wilson. Jones has 2 TDs and 6 INTs while Wilson has 4 TDs and 5 INTs. It’s safe to say that neither quarterback is good. The good news for the Giants fans is that Danny is out this week so we get Tyrod Taylor again. I like Tyrod. I think he gives us the best chance to win. Just like last week, this is a game that the Giants could and should win. But will I be picking them to win? I don’t know. They are the home team but that doesn’t mean anything when they are playing the Jets. The Jets beat the Eagles at home and then went on their bye. Ugh. I want to pick the Giants to win so badly. Obviously I’ll be rooting for them. This is so tough. I’m picking the Giants to win too. Go G-Men!

Falcons (4-3) @ Titans (2-4)  (1pm CBS)

The Titans will probably be without quarterback Ryan Tannehill who is dealing with a high ankle sprain, so I’m going to have to pick the Falcons to win this game. 

Texans (3-3) @ Panthers (0-6) (1pm FOX)

I mean, this could be the game that the Panthers win. Both teams are fresh off their bye and the Texans are not great on the road. I’m still picking the Texans to win, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t. 

 

Rams (3-4) @ Cowboys (4-2)  (1pm FOX)

I am picking the Cowboys to win. I don’t like it but I’m sure as hell not going to pick the Rams. They always lose when I pick them to win. I’ve learned my lesson. 

Vikings (2-4) @ Packers (2-4)  (1pm FOX)

I hope this game ends in a tie. I’m picking the Vikings to win for the same reason I’m not picking the Rams. Whenever I pick the Packers to win they lose. You’re welcome Packers fans? 

Saints (3-4) @ Colts (3-4) (1pm FOX)

The Colts are sneaky. I mean they almost beat the Browns last week. I am picking the Colts to win this game with Gardner Minshew under center. 

Eagles (6-1) @ Commanders (3-4) (1pm FOX)

It’s a divisional game and I am picking the Eagles to win, though I would be very happy if I was wrong! 

Browns (4-2) @ Seahawks (4-2) (4:05pm FOX)

All I know is that I am starting Kenneth Walker and DK Metcalf on my fantasy team. The Browns defense is good but they are a mess on offense. The Seahawks are solidly decent when they are healthy. I’m picking the Seahawks for the win but would not be surprised if I was wrong. 

Ravens (5-2) @ Cardinals (1-6) (4:25pm CBS)

The Ravens made a statement in their last win. I’m picking them to win again over the Cardinals. 

Chiefs (6-1)  @ Broncos (2-5) (4:25pm CBS)

I’m picking the Chiefs to win. I’d say it's a no brainer but after last week I’ve learned that basically any team is capable of beating a team they shouldn’t. Weather shouldn’t be a factor for the game but Denver was supposed to get 6 to 10 inches of snow Saturday night to Sunday morning. If the forecast does change we could get our first snow game of the season. 

Bengals (3-3)  @ 49ers (5-1) (4:25pm CBS)

Sam Darnald was supposed to start for Brock Purdy but Purdy cleared concussion protocols and will start for the 49ers. The Bengals are fresh off their bye. The 49ers have lost their last two games. I think they’ll bounce back and win this game, but their defense will really have to step up to do so. I’m picking the 49ers for the win.

Bears (2-5) @ Chargers (2-4) (8:20pm NBC)

Tyson Bagent will probably get the start again for the Bears. I think that I am going to pick the Chargers to win this one. 

Monday, October 30th

Raiders (3-4) @ Lions (5-2) (8:15pm ABC/ESPN)

I dropped the Lions defense but I am still picking them to win this game. They got embarrassed last week so I think they’ll bounce back this week. 

GO G-MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the edit Eric!

The Shenoa Report Week 7 '23 #theshenoareport

The Shenoa Report

October 19, 2023

Regular Season Week 7

The Titans, Texans, Bengals, Panthers, Jets, and Cowboys all have a bye in week 7. This will make fantasy football fun! Or not so fun, depending on who you have on your team. 

Last week I didn’t have football related fun though I did better on my picks, 10-5, I lost in fantasy, and obviously the Giants lost. We even watched the USC - Notre Dame game to see what all the hype around Caleb Williams was. I think there were 16 NFL teams represented and present to also watch Williams. Well, Caleb had his worst game ever. He threw three picks in the first half! It wasn’t fun to watch. It was like watching the Giants play only on a Saturday night. I still think that the Giants should tank the rest of the season and get the first draft pick in the 2024 draft. #WinLessForWilliams.

Before we get to week 7 let’s recap week 6. 

Broncos @ Chiefs 8-19

I don’t know what is going on with the Chiefs this season. Sure, they’re 5-1 but they don’t look good winning. I drafted Patrick Mahomes with my second pick in fantasy and he has absolutely not come through for me yet! Last year he was averaging 24 points a game. This year he’s only had two 20+ point games. Against the Broncos, he should’ve had at least 37 points. In actuality he got me 17. Not good enough. I’d like to say that the Chiefs defense has really stepped up, but they were playing the Broncos so it wasn’t hard to shut them out the first three quarters. In other news, Taylor Swift was at the game so of course we expected Travis Kelce to have a touchdown. He did not. Will she leave him? Time will tell. 

Ravens @ Titans 24-16

Justin Tucker kicked 6 field goals in this otherwise boring game across the pond. 

Commanders @ Falcons 24-16

Sam Howell threw three touchdown passes for the Commanders while Desmond Ridder’s three interceptions for the Falcons were what lost the game for Atlanta. 

Seahawks @ Bengals 13-17

I got this pick correct but Kenneth Walker and DK Metcalf did not have the game that I needed them to have. Walker did alright but Metcalf was injured and therefore underperformed. Who would’ve thought I would have been better off benching Metcalf for the Bengals WR3 Tyler Boyd?! Fantasy football is frustrating.

Colts @ Jaguars 20-37

The Jags have swept the Colts for another season. Gardner Minshew, the Colts quarterback now that Anthony Richardson is on IR,  had one touchdown but threw three interceptions in this loss. I was happy to see that Christian Kirk got into the endzone for a touchdown but needed like 3 more if I had any chance of winning fantasy this week. 

Panthers @ Dolphins 21-42

Believe it or not the Panthers led for most of the first half but of course Miami finally decided to show up and scored 3 touchdowns in the second quarter alone. In other news Raheem Mostert had a day of his own. He had 115 rushing yards, 3 touchdowns, two rushing and one receiving. The Dolphins are playing some pretty decent football if you ask me. 

 

Vikings @ Bears 19-13

The Vikings are still not good. I know that they won this game but I think that if they had  not taken Justin Fields out of the game the Bears would have won. Fields left the game early in the third quarter after dislocating his thumb on his throwing hand while enduring another sack. The Fields injury is really not good for the Bears. I mean they are bad enough when Fields is in, I don’t think they’ll win another game without Justin. 

49ers @ Browns 17-19

Welp. That didn’t go as expected. Guess who started 49ers kicker Jake Moody in fantasy? This girl. Guess who missed two field goals in this game, one in which that would have given the 49ers the win? Jake Moody. Brock Purdy also got his first loss as a starter and it didn’t help that Christian McCaffrey and Deebo Samuel both went out with injuries and didn’t return in the second half of the game. I got this pick wrong. Did anyone get it right? 

Saints @ Texans 13-20

Texans quarterback C.J. Stroud threw his first interception in his NFL career. It happened in the first quarter but then he went on to throw two touchdown passes  after that and ultimately won the game.

Patriots @ Raiders 17-21

The Raiders were able to hang on and win this game even after their quarterback, which used to be the Patriots quarterback, Jimmy Garoppolo, went out of the game with a back injury. Garoppolo was rushed to the hospital while the game continued without him. Head coach Josh McDaniels said Monday that Garoppolo "dodged a big bullet" regarding internal injuries. As of Monday they were still running tests. Brian Hoyer quarterbacked the rest of the game for the Raiders and brought the team to victory.  

Lions @ Buccaneers 20-6

I saw my dad last week and he’s decided that we should have our Sunday football phone calls after the Lions win rather than waiting for the Giants to win a game. The Lions did win, but I think my dad forgot he made that proclamation because I didn’t get a phone call from him after the game. I’m happy for the Lions, they’re finally getting good. 

 

Cardinals @ Rams 9-26

Surprisingly enough the Rams were doing ok without Cooper Kupp, and now that he’s back. Look out. I know the Rams played the Cardinals, and the Cardinals are awful, but the Cards did beat the Cowboys and that was pretty great. Sorry for the tangent there. The Rams are playing some good ball right now. As for the Cardinals, I think they’ll be better when they get James Conner back. 

Eagles @ Jets 14-20

I’m not mad. I got this pick wrong. Jalen Hurts threw three interceptions and the unlikely Jets knocked off the last undefeated team in the NFL. With less than two minutes left in the game I was on my feet in the living room chanting J-E-T-S. Fun fact, this win is the Jets first EVER against the Eagles. Wait? What?! Yup. The Jets made history. 

NY Giants @ Bills 9-14

This game. Expletive. Expletive. Expletive. Ok. Let's talk about the good things that happened. 1. Saquon was back in the line up. 2. Danny was in street clothes and didn’t play because of a neck injury last week. (Yes I am listing this under good things that happened.) 3. The Giants had the lead for most of the game, not just 19 seconds. 4. Our defense played well. They had a fumble recovery and an interception. 5. I think Tyrod Taylor gave us a breath of fresh air. He knew the drill, for the most part and either got the ball out quickly or threw it away. He was only sacked a few times, not 10 like Danny would've been. 

Now, the bad stuff, and I won’t say all of it, because honestly, I don’t have the time nor do I want to get that worked up again. We ended BOTH halves on the one yard line without a touchdown. Had we just kicked a field goal right before the half rather than going for it with extremely poor clock management and dumb decisions on what play to run we might have won this game. The last two plays of the game were both pass interference and only one was called. We should’ve won this game. I had ZERO expectation that we could even win this game before it started. And the fact that we held the Bills scoreless in the first three quarters and then got robbed at the end of the game. Man. It hurts. This loss hurt more than the other four we already had. I guess it just hurts more when you are so close. 

Cowboys @ Chargers 20-17

Having stayed up way too late the night before I went to bed when the score was 17-17. I had hoped that the Chargers would get the win.  The next day I learned that Justin Herbert threw an interception late in the 4th quarter. That interception came after the Cowboys had already scored the go ahead field goal. Boo. 

 WEEK 7

Thursday, October 19th

Jaguars (4-2) @ Saints (3-3) (8:15pm PRIME VIDEO)

Trevor Lawrence is still listed as questionable but aims to play through a sprained left knee. This doesn’t sound good for the Jags.  I really think that the Saints are due for a win. I’m picking the Saints to win this game. 

Sunday, October 22nd 

Browns (3-2) @ Colts (3-3) (1pm CBS)

I’m picking the Browns to win this game. I mean, after beating the 49ers, what can’t they do? In other news, the Colts will be without Anthony Richardson for the rest of the season as he had season ending surgery on his shoulder earlier this week. 

Bills (4-2) @ Patriots (1-5) (1pm CBS)

I’m picking the Bills to win this game. Sorry Pats fans. 

Commanders (3-3) @ NY Giants  (1-5) (1pm CBS)

I guess it depends on who plays this game. If Danny starts for the Giants I’m picking the Commanders to win. If Tyrod starts, well I think the Giants have a better chance at a win, but will probably still lose. If Danny was 100% healthy I might feel different. Jones is 5-1 against Washington. I know this is a game that the Giants could win, but will they? Probably not. With all that said, ugh. I don’t know. I’m already so disappointed in the Giants. It’s really hard to pick them to win anything. I’m picking the Commanders to win this game. I’d rather get this pick wrong than pick the Giants to win and get the pick wrong and watch my team lose. 

Lions (5-1) @ Ravens (4-2)  (1pm FOX)

I’m picking the Lions to win this game and I hope they do! I’m starting Detroit's TE Sam LaPorta and the Lions defense in fantasy. 

Raiders (3-3) @ Bears (1-5) (1pm FOX)

I’m pretty sure that the Bears will be without Justin Fields (thumb injury) and even if the Raiders don’t have Jimmy G (back injury) I am picking the Raiders to win this game. 

 

Falcons (3-3) @ Buccaneers (3-2)  (1pm FOX)

The Bucs don’t have a great home record (1-2) but the Falcons haven’t won on the road yet. I’m picking the Bucs to bounce back and win this game. 

Steelers (3-2) @ Rams (3-3)  (4:05pm FOX)

The Steelers are fresh off their bye but I’m picking the Rams to win this game for no other reason than Cooper Kupp being back in the lineup. 

Cardinals (1-5) @ Seahawks (3-2) (4:05pm FOX)

I’m picking the Seahawks to win and for the love of god please could DK Metcalf not be injured and have a great game!? Kenneth Walker too. Please and thank you. 

Packers (2-3) @ Broncos (1-5) (4:25pm CBS)

The Packers are also fresh off their bye and they get the struggling Broncos. I’m picking the Packers to win this game. 

Chargers (2-2) @ Chiefs (5-1) (4:25pm CBS)

I’m picking the Chiefs to win. Damnit Chiefs do better, put up a lot more points! 

 

Dolphins (5-1) @ Eagles (5-1) (8:20pm NBC)

Oh man, I’ll be rooting for the Dolphins but I’ll be picking the Eagles to win. I don’t think the Eagles will lose two in a row. 

Monday, October 23rd

49ers (5-1) @ Vikings (2-4) (8:15pm ABC/ESPN)

I’m picking the 49ers to bounce back and get this win over the Vikings. 

GO G-MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the edit Eric!

The Shenoa Report Week 6 '23 #theshenoareport

The Shenoa Report

October 12, 2023

Regular Season Week 6

Do you play fantasy football? Week 5 introduced bye weeks. How did you fare? I won by 0.72 of a point. Yikes! A win is a win right? I did not do well on my picks, 7-7, and obviously the Giants lost. At this point I hope the Giants tank the rest of the season and get the first draft pick in the 2024 draft. I mean we are already ranked 32. Worst team in the NFL.  Burn it all down and start over! I’ve got my eyes on Caleb Williams, quarterback of USC, 2022 Heisman winner, and he wears number 13! #WinLessForWilliams. Let’s go! 

I know we are only a quarter of the way through the season, but as a Giants fan, our season was over before it even began. 

Before we get to week 6 let’s recap week 5. 

Bears @ Commanders 40-20

I don’t think anyone saw this coming. I know I didn’t get this pick right, that’s for sure. The Bears finally showed why they traded for DJ Moore. Moore had 230 receiving yards, 3 touchdowns, and 49 fantasy points. I’m so glad I didn’t have to go up against him this week! Justin Fields also had a stellar game with 282 passing yards, 4 touchdowns, and 57 rushing yards. I think that the Commanders looked past this game and that's why they lost. 

 Jaguars @ Bills 25-20

Jacksonville showed that they still had the advantage in their second consecutive London game. I think that the Bills also looked past this game and have paid the price with a loss to a mediocre team.  The Bills defense struggled, not being able to stop the run. Travis Etienne had 136 rushing yards and two touchdowns in this win over Buffalo. Josh Allen had 359 yards and two touchdowns but also had a costly interception.   

Titans @ Colts 16-23

The big news in this game was that Jonathan Taylor finally got paid and was back in uniform for the Colts.  But it was Zack Moss that stole the show. Moss had 23 carries for 165 rushing yards and two touchdowns on the day. Jonathan Taylor had 6 carries and a total of 34 yards… I guess my picking the Titans to win did in fact secure the Colts victory. 

Saints @ Patriots 34-0

“Here’s something new, the Patriots are also winless at home this season. I think that changes this week. I am picking the Patriots to win this game over the Saints.” Yup, I couldn’t have been more wrong on this pick. What in the world is happening with the Patriots? For the second week in a row Mac Jones was benched during the game and Bailey Zappy took over for the Pats. As it turns out, the Patriots are still winless at home. It’s going to be a long season for New England fans.  

Ravens @  Steelers 10-17

The Ravens thought they had this game won in the third quarter after they shut out the Steelers and had only allowed a field goal in the first half.  But then the Steelers said, ummm no, not so fast! There is still one more quarter to play! The Steelers then went on to score two touchdowns in the fourth quarter while shutting out the Ravens to win the game. Also, George Pickens got me some very nice points in fantasy with 130 yards and a touchdown. 

Texans @ Falcons 19-21

The Falcons decided that they really only needed to score points in the first and fourth quarter. Younghoe Koo had a walk-off field goal to win the game. It was a close game but not very exciting. All I really know is that Tank Dell, wide receiver for the Texans, went out of the game in the second quarter with a concussion. This is not cool. 1. Concussions aren’t good. 2. Dell was in my flex spot in fantasy and only logged 8 points before his exit. I’m pretty sure the Texans would have won the game if Dell played the entire game. 

 

Panthers @ Lions 24-42

In fantasy football picking a defense is all about strategy. The Panthers are atrocious so I thought it would be ok to pick up the Lions defense. It was a good move until garbage time. Garbage time is defined when a game has become a blowout and the final result has been determined, but there's still time left on the clock. The defense for the winning team starts playing more conservatively, which can lead to “garbage time points” for the trailing offense. This is exactly what happened to my defense. The Lions allowed the Panthers to score two touchdowns in the fourth quarter so I only finished with 7 points when I could have had at least 11 points from that defense. Not cool. 

NY Giants @ Dolphins 16-31

See my rant in the opening. There is so much to say about the Giants and none of it is good. Ok, one good thing. The Defense did have two interceptions, one of which was a pick six, but they also allowed 31 points to be scored. So… 

Now let’s look at the offensive side of the ball… Yup, still awful.  

Josh Ezeudu was in tears at his locker. He blames himself for letting Danny Jones get hurt. Ezeudu was moved into Andew Thomas’ position while he’s out with injury. 

Evan Neal is going after fans. 

Darren Waller is letting the defense know that “as an offense we have to do more to help you guys out.” 

Saquon is still hurt.

Danny is still awful and now has a neck injury. 

Andew Thomas is still out.

It’s really bad. 

Let’s elaborate on offensive linemen Evan Neal. I guess he got all butt hurt last week when fans were, rightfully so, booing the team at MetLife. He said some pretty weird things, like "boo louder" and wondered why he would concern himself with the opinion of those who "flip hot dogs and flip hamburgers," Ummm? What? First of all, maybe actually do your job, like try protecting your quarterback, and the fans wouldn’t boo you! Saquon weighed in after these absurd comments saying "My advice I would give to him or any teammate is never pick a battle with the fans. Never going to win that one. They've been here before us and will be here after us. That's just the truth.”

Saquon is smart. Be like Saquon not like Evan Neal.

Ugh. I’m done. If you want a recap of the game or to read anything about the Dolphins there is a lot of content on ESPN.  #WinLessForWilliams

Bengals @ Cardinals 34-20

Hey, hey! The Bengals are back. Joe Burrow and Ja’marr Chase had a heck of a day against the Cards. Chase had 15 receptions for 192 yards and 3 touchdowns! Bengals fans and fantasy managers are breathing a sigh of relief. Unfortunately for the Cardinals, and James Conner fantasy managers, Conner was forced out of the game in the second quarter with a knee injury. I’m one of those managers. Damnit!

Eagles @ Rams 23-14

The good news for the Rams is they got Cooper Kupp back and he didn’t miss a beat. The bad news is they still lost to the Eagles. 

Jets @ Broncos 31-21

This was definitely a revenge game for Nathaniel Hackett who was the head coach of the Broncos last year until he got fired and is now coaching with the Jets. It must have been nice for Hackett to go into his old stadium and finally get a win. 

 

Chiefs  @ Vikings 27-20

There were injuries on both teams and those seem to be what all the talk is about. On the Vikings side, wide receiver Justin Jefferson left the game with a hamstring injury. He is expected to miss multiple weeks. On the Chiefs side, tight end Travis Kelce suffered an ankle injury but got all taped up and came back into the game and even caught a touchdown. Obviously the Jefferson injury is more substantial but because of Taylor Swift everyone also likes to talk about Kelce. 

Cowboys @ 49ers 10-42

I usually don’t like blowouts unless it’s my team doing the walloping but I loved this game. I guess I also like blowouts when one of the teams I loathe also gets walloped. Thank you 49ers for showing the Cowboys a good time. Mr. Irrelevant had 4 passing touchdowns, three of which went to tight end George Kittle. Kittle, who turned 30 on Monday, revealed he was wearing a "F*** Dallas" t-shirt under his uniform in a birthday post on Instagram. I’m gonna need one of those shirts too, George! 

Packers @ Raiders 13-17

This game was super boring. Thank god we had the Manningcast to fall back on. Desmond Howard and Jimmy Kimmel were the guests this week. Kimmel and the Mannings made fun of Raiders owner Mark Davis’ haircut.  That was the highlight of the game. That and when Eli pulled out a massive fat head of an elongated Peyton Manning forehead. Other than that the actual game was pretty boring.  It seemed that no one really wanted to win this game. Neither team looked especially good. 

 WEEK 6

Thursday, October 12th

Broncos (1-4) @ Chiefs (4-1) (8:15pm PRIME VIDEO)

I’ve been waiting for the Chiefs to have a massive game where Patrick Mahomes puts up 40 points in fantasy. I’m hoping this is one of those days. My opponent in fantasy is projected to slaughter me so I need all of my guys to go off. It all starts with Mahomes. I’m picking the Chiefs for the win. 

Sunday, October 15th 

Ravens (3-2) @ Titans (2-3) (9:30am NFLN)

For the third week in a row London will host an NFL game. This game will be played at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. I think being in London tends to even the playing field for both teams. Like, last week, if the Bills were actually playing at home they would’ve crushed the Jags. Therefore, this game is really up for grabs. There is no home field advantage. I just need DeAndre Hopkins to have a stellar game, but I guess I’m picking the Ravens to win. 

Commanders (2-3) @ Falcons (3-2) (1pm CBS)

I’m going to pick the Falcons to win this game. They are still undefeated at home and I hope that stays the same. Basically I don’t want any team in the NFC East to win if the Giants can’t. 

Seahawks (3-1) @ Bengals (2-3) (1pm CBS)

The Seahawks will be fresh off their bye week so hopefully Kenneth Walker and DK Metcalf have a phenomenal game. Yes, they are both on my fantasy team and yes, I’ll need the points desperately. The Bengals had their first competitive game last week and will be carrying that momentum into this game. I’m going to pick the Bengals to win again at home, I just hope it's a high scoring game. 

Colts (3-2) @ Jaguars (3-2)  (1pm CBS)

The Colts will be without quarterback Anthony Richardson, who is on IR after a shoulder injury from last week’s game. The Jags are coming back from London so their internal clocks might be a little messed up. The Jags have already beaten the Colts once this season and I think they’ll do it again. I am picking the Jags to win this game. 

Panthers (0-5) @ Dolphins (4-1) (1pm CBS)

Yeah, this is kind of a no brainer. I’m picking the Dolphins to win this game. 

 

Vikings (1-4) @ Bears (1-4)  (1pm FOX)

The Vikings will be without Justin Jefferson as he is also on IR after a hamstring injury sustained in last week’s game. The Vikings were barely competitive with Jefferson. Now the Bears have their own troubles but they got their first win last week. I’m picking the Bears to win this game too. 

49ers (5-0) @ Browns (2-2)  (1pm FOX)

I’m just going to come right out and say it. The 49ers are the best team in the NFL this season. The Browns are coming off their bye so they should be all rested up but I don’t think it’ll be enough to win this game. I am picking the 49ers for the W. 

Saints (3-2) @ Texans (2-3) (1pm FOX)

It’s pretty incredible that Texans quarterback C.J. Stroud has not thrown an interception yet in his NFL career. Will that remain the same this week? The Saints defense has had at least one interception in all but one game this season, and that was against the Colts who rarely throw the ball. This might be the end of Stroud’s streak.  The Saints are coming off a win and the Texans a loss. I think I’m going to pick the Saints to win this game. 

Patriots (1-4) @ Raiders (2-3) (4:05pm CBS)

I saw a headline the other day that said, “Patriots owner Robert Kraft open to firing Bill Belichick if New England’s struggles continue.” I really never thought I’d read a headline like that. With that being said I’m picking the Raiders to win this game. 

Lions (4-1) @ Buccaneers (3-1) (4:25pm FOX)

The Bucs are also fresh off their bye and the Lions fresh off a statement win last week. Last year I wouldn’t have but this year I’m picking the Lions to win this game and I hope they do well, because I think I’m starting their defense in fantasy. 

 

Cardinals (1-4) @ Rams (2-3) (4:25pm FOX)

I think that the Rams are better than their record shows and now that James Conner is on IR for the Cards I don’t think they are at all competitive. I’m picking the Rams to win this game. 

Eagles (5-0) @ Jets (2-3) (4:25pm FOX)

In this battle of the Green I’ll be rooting for the Jets but picking the Eagles to win the game. 

NY Giants (1-4) @ Bills (3-2) (8:20pm NBC)

When the season schedule was released, far before the season started, I was so excited for this game! I was looking at tickets and making plans with friends and family. The tickets were expensive but it’s been YEARS since I’ve seen my G-Men play. Also, I’ve always wanted to see a Bills game. This was going to be the perfect game to attend. Then the season started and I quickly realized that I didn’t want to pay $200+ to sit in the freezing cold and watch my team get stomped. I will not be attending this game and just this week bought another Bills t-shirt. Yes, of course, I’m still rooting for the sorry excuse of a team the Giants are but, I am picking the Bills to win this game. I won’t even be mad because at least my AFC team will win. Yes, I’ve decided once again I need an AFC team because my NFC team is SO BAD! It’s not the first time I’ve had an AFC team. I’m sure you know the story but I’ll tell it again. When I was in 10th grade the Colts were HORRIBLE and I thought they needed more fans to cheer for them and help them win. So I decided that I was going to be a Colts fan. The very next season they drafted Payton Manning. It was a dream world of magic for years. When Manning left the Colts I dropped the team. Well now, I can’t drop the Giants because they are my forever team but I have decided that I can pick up another team from the AFC and I’ve decided on the Bills. 

Monday, October 16th

Cowboys (3-2) @ Chargers (2-2) (8:15pm ABC/ESPN)

I’d like to see the Chargers win, and I’ll be rooting for them to do so, but I’m pretty sure the Cowboys will bounce back after their terrible loss to the 49ers. I’m picking Dallas to win this game. 

GO G-MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the edit Eric!

The Shenoa Report Week 5 '23 #theshenoareport

The Shenoa Report

October 5, 2023

Regular Season Week 5

Yeah, it’s going to be a long season. Obviously I’m speaking from the perspective of a Giants fan and fantasy manager. I lost to my partner 109-84. Ugh. I didn’t even break 100. My partner started Danny Jones who finished the week with a whopping 8.72 points, George Kittle with 1.9 points, and a New Orleans defense with 2 points. And he still kicked my ass. Usually I can reason away a fantasy loss if the Giants win… Well, you know what? The Giants SUCK. Like I said, it’s going to be a long season. 

You know what else sucks besides the Giants? Cancer. Cancer SUCKS! I’m sure you all have been personally affected by that horrible word. October is Crucial Catch month in the NFL. Throughout the month, while watching the NFL you’ll see some rainbow colors on uniforms, as well as some colorful abstract/geometric patterns on hats and hoodies. This is to show support, raise awareness, and bring attention to cancer, research, those lost, and the survivors. Since 2009, the first year of the NFL's Crucial Catch campaign, the NFL’s work has raised more than $27 million for the American Cancer Society and has supported over 657,800 cancer screenings. When you buy anything with the Crucial Catch logo on it from the NFL shop all proceeds go towards cancer research. The NFL does not retain any profits generated by royalties received due to the sale of Crucial Catch products. All dollars are donated to the American Cancer Society. Cancer sucks. Please, get yourself checked, early detection saves lives.

Week 5 starts bye weeks, so if you are a Browns, Seahawks, Chargers, or Bucs fan your team CAN’T lose this week! 

I had decent picks this past week going 12-4. Now for the recap of week 4. 

Lions @ Packers 34-20

Here’s a fun fact. The Lions now have beaten the Packers 4 consecutive times. It’s safe to say that the Packers are not the threat they once were just a couple of seasons ago. It’s also safe to say that the Lions are an actual threat, which has really never happened before. Former Bear, David Montgomery, likes his new gig as a Lion. He’d never beaten the Packers as a Bear but as a Lion he had 3 rushing touchdowns, 141 total yards and 34.1 fantasy points. I think Montgomery likes being a Lion. I also think that the Lions fans are cool with all these wins. 

Falcons @ Jaguars 7-23

I didn’t really wake up in time to watch the whole game but it went just about as I expected. I had decided to bench Christian Kirk which was a dumb decision on my part as he was the only one of my wide receivers to get double digit points on Sunday. The Jags truly felt like the home team even if they were playing across the pond. 

Miami @ Bills 20-48

It was good to see Miami knocked down a few pegs. You can’t win by 50 every week, sometimes you can lose by 28. The Bills looked great. Maybe I’ll be an honorary Bills fan this season. Josh Allen had four passing touchdowns and 320 passing yards. He’s a beast. Stephan Diggs is also a tremendous player. He had 6 receptions for 120 yards and 3 touchdowns. It was nice to see a NY team win for a change. 

Broncos @ Bears 31-28

I was talking to a girl friend last week about football. It was a great conversation. Taylor Swift was the topic. Shocking, I know. She was telling me that it was a tough week for her husband because he’s a Bears fan and the Bears had been the butt of many jokes because of their loss to the Chiefs last week. To which I said, at least he’s not a Broncos fan. They lost 70-20…. She had no idea. She’s a Swifty and had been totally engulfed by all that media craziness. Anyway,  we had a good laugh and then I said that the Bears were playing the Broncos this week so maybe they can right their ship. Yeah. That didn’t happen. Now the Bears are the butt of a lot more jokes. But look, the Broncos bounced back after a HUMILIATING loss last week. Go Broncos? 

Ravens @  Browns 28-3

Sometimes it’s funny to read my prediction for the games after they’ve been played. For example, last week I wrote, “The Browns defense is so good. I think they have the edge. I am going to pick the Browns to win this game.” I couldn’t have been any more wrong!  What happened to the Browns? I guess I didn’t realize how important Deshawn Watson was to the Browns offense. Watson didn’t play because of a right shoulder injury sustained a week prior. Dorian Thompson-Robinson, a fifth-round pick rookie, had to start in his place. He did not fare well. Cleveland only scored a field goal in the first quarter. And that was it. 

Steelers  @ Texans 6-30

Also, this from last week, “The Steelers also have a really good defense. Therefore, I am going to pick the Steelers to win this game.” Sometimes when my picks are wrong, they are very wrong. I’m not sure what happened to the Steelers? Sure Kenny Pickett went out late in the 3rd quarter with a knee injury but he had only thrown for 114 yards and an interception. His backup, Mitch Trubisky, threw for 18 yards the rest of the game. But, I was talking about how good the Steelers defense was. Well, not this week. C.J. Stroud threw for 306 yards and two touchdowns in this win with the Texans. Stroud is also the first rookie since the merger with 250 yards, two touchdown passes, and no interceptions in three straight games. 

 

Vikings  @ Panthers 21-13

The Panthers looked decent in the first half and actually had the lead going into halftime. But then the second half started and the Vikings dominated. Minnesota shut out the Panthers in the second half and scored two touchdowns to give them the lead and the win. Sorry Panthers fans. 

Rams  @ Colts 29-23 OT

The Rams had built up quite a lead going into the half, shutting out the Colts in the first two quarters. Matt Stafford, who took a hard hit late in the third quarter had to play the rest of the game with a painful hip injury.  I think the injury sparked a Colts comeback. But, it was Matt Stafford, playing through the pain, who threw a touchdown pass in overtime to Puka Nacua to seal the win. 

Buccaneers @ Saints 26-9

I think that Baker Mayfield is very much enjoying his new team. The Bucs are killing it! The only thing missing for Tampa is Uncle Lenny. I wonder what Leonard Fornette is doing nowadays? Baker had 3 touchdown passes to Derek Carr’s 0. And the Bucs defense kept Alvin Kamara to just 51 rushing yards. 

Commanders @ Eagles 31-34 OT

This game was super close. So close it went into overtime to decide a winner. The Commanders did a really good job of holding the Eagles to multiple field goals and that's what kept them in the game. Jake Elliott had 4 field goals, the last one came in overtime for the win. Yes, the Eagles are 4-0. Have they looked good doing so? No they have not. 

Bengals @ Titans 3-27

What in the world is wrong with the Bengals?!?! They made the Titans look good. The Titans are not good. The only good player on the Titans right now is Derrick Henry. Sorry DeHop, you used to be good but with your quarterback you might as well have the name Garrett Wilson and be playing for the Jets… So much potential, wasted. Derrick Henry had one rushing touchdown and one passing touchdown in this win over Cincinnati. Henry is a running back not a quarterback. Maybe next week Henry can throw a couple of touchdown passes to DeHop and get him back into the game. No, that won’t work, my opponent in week 5 has Henry in her lineup. 

 

Raiders @ Chargers 17-24

The Chargers dominated on offense and defense. Justin Herbert had two rushing touchdowns and one passing touchdown to Keenan Allen. Khalil Mack had 6 sacks on the defensive side. Herbert played through injury in the second half after he got the middle finger of his left hand caught in the helmet of a defender after throwing his only interception. The Raiders tried to rally in the second half but it was too little too late. 

Patriots @ Cowboys 3-38

The Cowboys handed Bill Belichick his worst loss in his entire professional coaching career. Let that sink in. This includes games when he was the assistant coach as well.  Insane. I don’t like giving out compliments to the Cowboys, but their defense is legit. I wish the Giants could have a defense like that. 

 

Cardinals @ 49ers 16-35

Frickin’ Christian McCaffrey scored 4 touchdowns in this rout over Arizona. He almost had the franchise record with a fifth touchdown but the 49ers coach had Brock Purdy run in the last touchdown of the day. 

Chiefs @ Jets 23-20

Taylor Swift was in the building and the Chiefs are 2-0 when she is in attendance but the Chiefs need to play better ball. They got the win but, like the Eagles, it wasn’t pretty. Patrick Mahomes had 2 really dumb interceptions and the Chiefs defense allowed the stupid Jets to come back. Did I mention my fantasy team SUCKED this week? I started both Mahomes and the Chiefs D. This was a frustrating game to watch but not as bad as the Monday night game… 

Seahawks @ NY Giants 24-3

At least we scored a field goal so we weren’t completely shut out like week one?… No, there are no silver linings. My team, the NY Football Giants, are an embarrassment. EMBARRASSMENT. I don’t understand. After last season? What in the world? I am at a loss for words. I could just copy and paste what I’ve said weeks prior. Our O-line is non-existent. We are not competitive at all. Saquon is our MVP because when he isn’t in the game we have no chance. It’s going to be a long long long long season. 

 

 

WEEK 5

Thursday, October 5th

Bears (0-4) @ Commanders (2-2) (8:15pm PRIME VIDEO)

Sorry Bears fans, you are going to lose this game too. I’m picking the Commanders for the win. 

Sunday, October 8th 

 Jaguars (2-2) @ Bills (3-1) (9:30am NFLN)

Note the time and where to watch. The second London game of the season will be played at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. The Jags just won last week at Wembley but now take on the Bills who are the “home team.” Jacksonville has the advantage as they’ve been in England for weeks now. They’ve acclimated nicely. I’m still picking the Bills to win this game. They are the better team. Go Bills!

Titans (2-2) @ Colts (2-2) (1pm CBS)

Who the heck knows!? I don’t think either team is that good. And on top of that I don’t think I’ve had a correct pick for either of these teams for the past 4 weeks. Soooo, I guess I’ll pick the Colts to win? Wait, the Colts are winless at home. But the Titans are winless on the road. Ugh. Titans win. Final answer. You’re welcome Colts fans, this will pretty much insure a win for you. 

Saints (2-2) @ Patriots (1-3) (1pm CBS)

Here’s something new, the Patriots are also winless at home this season. I think that changes this week. I am picking the Patriots to win this game over the Saints. 

Ravens (3-1) @  Steelers (2-2)  (1pm CBS)

Being that I have George Pickens on my fantasy team I’d really like to see him have a good game. I don’t know how that’ll go with Kenny Pickett injured. I guess I’m picking the Ravens to win this game. 

Texans (2-2) @ Falcons (2-2) (1pm FOX)

I’m picking the Falcons to get the win at home, but I’m hoping it’s a high scoring game because I’ve got some Texans wide receivers that I might start this week. Though I haven’t decided yet. 

 

Panthers (0-4) @ Lions (3-1)  (1pm FOX)

Yeah, the Lions are the real deal and will beat the Panthers in this game of the cats. Meow?

NY Giants (1-2) @ Dolphins (3-1)  (1pm FOX)

Nope. I don’t have to pick a winner. I know that Miami has already won this game. I think a bold prediction would be that the Giants don’t win another game this season. Change my mind. 

Bengals (1-3) @ Cardinals (1-3) (4:05pm FOX)

I mean, with the way the Bengals have been playing, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m picking the Cardinals to win this game. 

Eagles (4-0)  @ Rams (2-2) (4:05pm FOX)

I’m picking the Eagles to win this game but I don’t like it, and I really hope I’m wrong. Also, I just copy and paste that sentence from week to week. Just so you know. 

Jets (1-3) @ Broncos (1-3) (4:25pm CBS)

The Broncos haven’t won at home and the Jets haven’t won on the road yet this season. This game will probably end in a tie. I am picking the Jets to win this game, though I’m not sure why. 

 

Chiefs (3-1) @ Vikings (1-3) (4:25pm CBS)

I am picking the Chiefs to win this game. And for the love of god, please be more dominant in doing so this week. Thanks. Love, Shenoa and Taylor Swift, and all the Chiefs and Swifty fans out there. 

Cowboys (3-1) @ 49ers (4-0) (8:20pm NBC)

This game will put both teams to the test. I’m picking the 49ers for the win and I hope they beat the Cowboys as badly as the 49ers beat the Giants and as badly as the Cowboys beat the Giants. Yeah! That badly! Go 49ers! 

Monday, October 9th

Packers (2-2) @ Raiders (1-3) (8:15pm ABC/ESPN)

The Raiders have not won at home yet this season while the Packers have won on the road. It really depends on what version these teams decide to start. I’ve been picking the Packers to win with minimal success. I’m going to do it one more time. I’m picking the Packers to win this game. 

GO G-MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the edit Eric!