The Shenoa Report
January 29, 2023
CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP
We’ve made it to Championship Sunday. There are just 4 teams left, I can get behind 3 of them. There will only be two games today. I miss the Redzone and fantasy football already. Next week there will be no football unless you count the Pro Bowl which isn’t really football.
I must say I am looking forward to Pro Bowl week because Peyton and Eli Manning will be the coaches of the AFC and NFC flag football game respectively. It should be entertaining.
*Disclaimer* I’ll be dropping some four letter words in this report. It’s the only way to convey how I actually feel.
I don’t know about you, but after last week I’m not really excited about the postseason moving forward. Both of the teams I was pulling for shit the bed. I didn’t do well on picks, 2-2 (because my teams played like shit), and worst of all the Eagles are still in the postseason. Cool. I don’t even want to write this report, but I will, for the fans that want to grieve with me.
Before I recap last week’s debacle let’s talk about some other teams that didn’t even make it into the playoffs. For instance, the Panthers just hired Frank Riech as their head coach. Did you know that Frank was also the Panthers very first quarterback in 1995 and threw their first touchdown pass? Well, now you do! Meanwhile, Colts fans are signing a petition to NOT have Jeff Saturday as their head coach. The Jets hired Nathanial Hackett as their new OC and they may try to bring in Aaron Rodgers. The Cowboys (yes I know they made the playoffs, I’m making an exception) let go of six assistant coaches after their playoff loss. Joe Judge is not liked in Patriot land. There are many reports saying that Judge was not liked by players, specifically Mac Jones, and other coaches as well. I am shocked! The real question is, were there golf clubs in the locker room?
Jaguars @ Chiefs 20-27
For the first time in Trevor Lawrence’s football career he has finally lost a game on a Saturday. The game started off with a Travis Kelce touchdown from Patrick Mahomes, real shocker. The Jags answered back with a Christian Kirk touchdown from Lawrence. The second quarter was a little scary for Chiefs fans. Mahomes was pulled from the game due to an ankle injury and Chad Henne had to take over. Henne was able to connect with Kelce for a touchdown late in the quarter. Then with less than a minute to go Riley Patterson kicked a field goal to put the Jags within 1 score going into half time. Jacksonville fans found a glimmer of hope. But Mahomes came back in the game and managed to throw another touchdown pass to MVS in the fourth quarter, and the Jags had two fourth quarter turnovers. Now the Jags Super Bowl dreams have come to an end. Chiefs fans are just glad that they are still in it. Mahomes could have easily lost this game for them. Playing on a bad ankle, he made some bad decisions that could have led to some turnovers and a Jags win. Kansas City got lucky and they’ll need to carry that luck with them if they are going to make it to the Super Bowl.
NY Giants @ Eagles 7-38
This game was a shit show. It was embarrassing. It was hard to watch. It was like Danny Jones had never thrown a football before or even ran in cleats. It was awful. A terrible way to end the season. I have zero good things to say about this game. So I am just going to be done. The only thing that gave me hope after this humiliating loss was, at least I still have the Bills…
Bengals @ Bills 27-10
Watching this game was like reliving the Giants game the night before. Awful. Buffalo found themselves down 14-0 after the first quarter, just like the Giants. Unlike the Giants, the Bills were able to score a touchdown in the second quarter and hold the Bengals to a field goal. This gave Bills fans hope. They’d been down before and they had Damar Hamlin at the game to cheer them on, that should’ve totally been enough. But it wasn’t. The snow continued to fall throughout the game as did the hopes of Bills fans. The Cincinnati Bengals played and executed better than Buffalo. Like I said, it was tough to watch. Congrats to Bengals fans, you’ll get to go to Kansas City to play for a spot in the Super Bowl, again. Maybe next year Buffalo.
Cowboys @ 49ers 12-19
Finally, a game I’m actually excited to talk about. How ‘bout them Cowboys? More like, Mr. Irrelevant is Purdy good! San Francisco’s quarterback, Brock Purdy was the very last player picked in this season’s draft and he’s an unbeaten rookie! The whole game was very defensive heavy, those guys were really doing their job. The 49ers defense didn’t allow any points in the first quarter and the Cowboys held the 49ers to a field goal. Dallas had a touchdown in the second quarter but you’ll never guess who missed the extra point?!? Again?!?! Yup, Brett Maher missed another one. It wasn’t his fault this time, it was a blocked kick. Robbie Gould had two made field goals to put SF ahead by 3 going into the half. The Cowboys tied the game in the third quarter with a field goal, yes Maher finally got the boys some points. Then Christian McCaffrey scored a touchdown in the fourth for the 49ers while Maher added another field goal for Dallas. The last team to score was the 49ers with a Robbie Gould field goal to win the game. The 49ers head to Philly next and the Cowboys just head home.
CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP
Sunday, January 29th
49ers @ Eagles (3pm FOX)
Dear football gods, Please, please, please help the 49ers win this game. Love, Shenoa and all other NFL fans minus Philly fans. This should be a good game. The Eagles hold no injury designations while the 49ers come in a little banged up but nothing too bad. Obviously I’m pulling for San Francisco. My head says the Eagles will win this game, they are the higher seed and have the home field advantage. The 49ers are starting a rookie quarterback and are the underdogs for the first time this season. To hell with getting this pick right for picks sake. I’m picking the 49ers to win this game! GO ‘9ERS!!!!!!!
Bengals @ Chiefs (4:30pm CBS)
I really don’t care who wins this game. I’ll be happy either way. I think that the Chiefs are way more banged up than the Bengals. Mahomes is definitely not 100% even though he doesn’t hold a designation going into this game. The troubling designation is Travis Kelce with a back injury. He’ll play for sure, it’s just not good timing. Wide receivers Mecole Hardman and Justin Watson are also questionable for this game. The Bengals will be without guard Alex Cappa and OT Jonah Willams. I just want this to be a good game. Last year the Bengals upset the Chiefs in the Championship game and I think they’ll do it again. I’m picking the Bengals to win this game, but really I won’t be sad or surprised if I’m wrong.
Those are my picks, I guess that means that if I am right it’ll be a 49ers - Bengals Super Bowl. That matchup hasn’t happened in decades, but it has happened once in 1981 and again in 1988. The 49ers won both games, the Bengals have never won a Super Bowl.
GO 49ERS!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the edit Eric!
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