The Shenoa Report
September 30, 2021
Regular Season Week 4
"You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It's a goldfish. You know why? It's got a 10-second memory. Be a goldfish." I’m trying to take this advice from Ted Lasso and be a goldfish and forget how horrible my team is. I have this sinking feeling that my Giants are going to go 0-17 this season. It’s so frustrating and disappointing watching them. Otherwise things are good in football land, unless you drafted CMC. To those people, as much as that loss will hurt your fantasy scores, unlike the Giants, your season is not over.
I went 9-7 in my picks this week and am 3-0 in fantasy.
Here’s the recap of Week 3.
Panthers @ Texans 24-9
The biggest news coming out of this game was the Christian McCaffrey hamstring injury that took him out of the game, and out for weeks to come. If you listened closely you could hear the wailing of all the people who picked CMC with the very first pick of their fantasy draft. The Panthers were still able to win easily without McCaffrey because the Texans are just that awful.
Washington @ Bills 21-43
The Bills didn’t have any trouble beating the Football Team. In fact, if not for garbage time, the score would’ve been a lot worse for Washington. Josh Allen had 4 passing and 1 rushing touchdown reaching 101 total touchdowns in his NFL career. The Bills are having a way better season than my Giants. Ugh.
Bears @ Browns 6-26
OBJ is back for the Browns and that is oh so exciting. It should have been oh so exciting to see Justin Fields get his first start for the Bears, but it was pretty much the opposite of exciting. In fact, it was humiliating. Myles Garrett had 4 ½ sacks on the rookie QB, which is a franchise record. Thankfully, I started the Cleveland defense who brought Fields down nine times in total while holding Chicago to just 1 net yard passing the entire game! It was a good day for Browns fans and a day Bears fans started to look for brown paper bags to put over their heads.
Ravens @ Lions 19-17
History was made when Justin Tucker kicked a 66 yard field goal that bounced off the crossbar and through to give the Ravens the win. This was one of several games won by a last second field goal this week. Baltimore fans were elated, while Lions fans, thinking they might have their first win of the season only to see the ball go through the uprights, had their hopes dashed. (Giants fans can commiserate)
Colts @ Titans 16-25
Ryan Tannehill threw 3 touchdown passes and 2 interceptions, while Derrick Henry had 28 carries for 113 yards giving the Titans the win. Henry makes those 100+ yard games look easy. I’m so glad I drafted that guy. I’m also glad I’m no longer a Colts fan. These are hard times for them for sure.
Chargers @ Chiefs 30-24
If you would have told me that the Chiefs would be 1-2 and at the bottom of their division before the season started I would’ve laughed at you. I’m not sure what’s going on with KC but they better fix it quickly. The team didn’t even know that their coach Andy Ried wasn’t feeling well and had to be rushed to the hospital (he’s ok). Regardless, it's not a good start for the Chiefs. They need to do better.
Saints @ Patriots 28-13
Jameis Winston from week one showed up having 2 touchdowns and zero interceptions, while Mac Jones had 3 interceptions, one of which being a pick six. The Patriots have not been 0-2 at home since Belichick’s first season as a Patriot. It’s not going to get any easier for them as the Bucs come to town next week.
Falcons @ NY Giants 17-14
This is the second week in a row that we’ve lost on a last second field goal. I don’t know what to say. “I’m disappointed” just doesn't convey how utterly upset I am at this team. I have no words, only if you think your team is bad, play the Giants, it’ll make you feel better.
Bengals @ Steelers 24-10
Any day that the Steelers lose is a good day, but when the Bengals beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh, that’s a spectacular day! Ben Roethlisberger was sacked 4 times and picked off twice. On the other side of the ball Joe Burrow had three touchdown passes and only one interception.
Cardinals @ Jaguars 31-19
While Justin Tucker made history kicking the longest field goal, Matt Prater tried to do the same, only his attempt was 68 yards, and the ball fell short into the arms of Jamal Agnew who returned it for a 109 yard touchdown, which also made history being the longest “kick 6”.
Jets @ Broncos 0-26
As mad as I am about the Giants, at least I’m not a Jets fan. Can we say SHUTOUT! The Broncos have now trampled the Giants, Jags, and Jets by a combined 76-26. Man oh man. You’re welcome Broncos fans.
Dolphins @ Raiders 28-31 OT
The Raiders played another overtime game to get the win. This time it was a field goal to seal the deal. Dolphins fans, you can commiserate with Lions and Giants fans. I’m happy for the Raiders though, starting off 3-0 for the first time in, I don’t know, forever? Darren Waller didn’t have a great game, but it was good enough to get me the win in fantasy.
Buccaneers @ Rams 24-34
Speaking of fantasy, Cooper Kupp was my MVP this week with 2 touchdowns, 9 receptions, and 96 yards. Keep up the good work! I really didn’t think the Rams were going to win this game, but I’m glad they did. It’s nice to see Brady lose once in a while.
Seahawks @ Vikings 17-30
This game’s final score shocked me. The Seahawks must be having an off season. The Vikings never should’ve won. I don’t really know what else to say. Maybe it was opposite day for these two teams?
Packers @ 49ers 30-28
Hey 49ers fans, I’ll add you to the list of teams that lost due to last second field goals. It’s a big pity party this week. You join the Lions, Giants, and Dolphins fans. It was a pretty spectacular game, if you’re a Packers fan. If you didn’t watch this game, basically, Aaron Rodgers had 30 seconds left at the end of the game to march down the field to get into field goal range to give Mason Cosby a chance to win the game. So, of course, that’s what he did. He’s the 30 seconds or less guy, which is a good thing in football, but that’s where it starts and ends.
Eagles @ Cowboys
Peyton and Eli strike again. Their show is pure gold. In an unwatchable game, with my two most hated teams, I stayed up way past my bedtime watching just because of the Mannings. At one point a new edgy version of Eli gave the double bird on live tv, thinking that it could be blurred. He then apologized saying, "Sorry, earlier I gave the double bird. I guess that’s frowned upon, so I apologize if I offended anybody. That’s just what a 9-year-old did to me and I thought I could do it back.” Unfortunately, the Mannings are taking a 3 week break from Monday Night Football. Their contract only includes 10 games, and in doing the math of a 17 game season, there will be some Mondays without the Mannings. Tear.
About the actual game, eh. It was bad. The Cowboys trounced the Eagles. I just wished it had ended in a tie.
WEEK 4
Thursday, September 30th
Jaguars (0-3) @ Bengals (2-1) (8:20pm NFL)
I picked up the Bengals defense for this game. Therefore I’m picking the Bengals to win this game.
Sunday, October 3rd
Washington (1-2) @ Falcons (1-2) (1pm FOX)
My opponent this week has most of the Football Team in his line up. So this week I’m going to have to root for Atlanta, which pains me a little bit. I’m picking the Falcons to win this game, but won’t be surprised if they don’t.
Texans (1-2) @ Bills (2-1) (1pm CBS)
I’m picking the Bills to win this game. It should be a blow out. Maybe I should switch teams and become a Bills fan… nah.
Lions (0-3) @ Bears (1-2) (1pm FOX)
Bears coach Matt Nagy is in the hot seat as he has not named a starter for QB yet. Justin Fields, Andy Dalton, and Nick Foles are his options. He should go with Fields, and instill a little confidence in the kid. Who knows. Regardless I think I’m going to pick the Lions to win this game.
Colts (0-3) @ Dolphins (1-2) (1pm CBS)
Maybe the Colts will get their first win of the season. I won’t hold my breath. I think I’ll pick the Dolphins to win this game, that way my former team and my current team can be 0-4 together.
Panthers (3-0) @ Cowboys (2-1) (1pm FOX)
I hate to say it, but I think the Cowboys are going to win this game. The Panthers were able to win without CMC last week but I don’t think they’ll be lucky enough this week.
Browns (2-1) @ Vikings (1-2) (1pm CBS)
This will be a tough game but I want and need the Browns to come out on top. I’m picking Cleveland for the win.
NY Giants (0-3) @ Saints (2-1) (1pm FOX)
I’m a goldfish. But I’m still picking the Saints to win. GO GMEN!
Titans (2-1) @ NY Jets (0-3) (1pm CBS)
I’m hoping that Derrick Henry has his best game ever against the Jets. I’m picking the Titans to win this game, more like annihilate the Jets.
Chiefs (1-2) @ Eagles (2-1) (1pm CBS)
I have no idea what’s going on with the Chiefs but they’ve got to get their stuff together. I really don’t think they’ll lose this game. I’m picking KC for the win.
Cardinals (3-0) @ Rams (3-0) (4:05pm FOX)
This should be a really good game. I’m picking the Rams to win this game, only because they are the home team. I wish they both could win. I just hope that it’s a high scoring game because I need both Kyler Murray and Cooper Kupp to have stellar games.
Seahawks (1-2) @ 49ers (2-1) (4:05pm FOX)
The Seahawks have only won on the road this season, and the 49ers have yet to win at home. With those factors I’m picking the Seahawks to win this game.
Ravens (2-1) @ Broncos (3-0) (4:25pm CBS)
Lamar Jackson is pretty beat up going into this game and might not play on Sunday. In either case I’m picking the Broncos to win this game.
Steelers (1-2) @ Packers (2-1) (4:25pm CBS)
I’m going to have to pick the Packers to win this game for obvious reasons.
Buccaneers (2-1) @ Patriots (1-2) (8:20pm NBC)
This is pretty much the game of the week. Tom Brady, and Gronk, heading back to Foxborough. I’d like to see the Patriots win this game but it’s highly unlikely. Begrudgingly I’m picking the Bucs to win this game.
Monday, October 4th
Raiders (3-0) @ Chargers (2-1) (8:15pm ESPN)
The Manning’s aren’t calling this game so It’ll be hard to watch. I’d like to see the Raiders win, mainly because of Darren Waller. It’ll be the Raiders second Monday night game this season, and I’m picking them for the win.
GO GMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the edit Eric!
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