The Shenoa Report Week 4 '21 #theshenoareport

The Shenoa Report

September 30, 2021

Regular Season Week 4

"You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It's a goldfish. You know why? It's got a 10-second memory. Be a goldfish." I’m trying to take this advice from Ted Lasso and be a goldfish and forget how horrible my team is. I have this sinking feeling that my Giants are going to go 0-17 this season. It’s so frustrating and disappointing watching them. Otherwise things are good in football land, unless you drafted CMC. To those people, as much as that loss will hurt your fantasy scores, unlike the Giants, your season is not over. 

I went 9-7 in my picks this week and am 3-0 in fantasy. 

Here’s the recap of Week 3. 

Panthers @ Texans 24-9

The biggest news coming out of this game was the Christian McCaffrey hamstring injury that took him out of the game, and out for weeks to come. If you listened closely you could hear the wailing of all the people who picked CMC with the very first pick of their fantasy draft.  The Panthers were still able to win easily without McCaffrey because the Texans are just that awful. 

Washington @ Bills 21-43

The Bills didn’t have any trouble beating the Football Team. In fact, if not for garbage time, the score would’ve been a lot worse for Washington.  Josh Allen had 4 passing and 1 rushing touchdown reaching 101 total touchdowns in his NFL career. The Bills are having a way better season than my Giants. Ugh. 

Bears @ Browns 6-26

OBJ is back for the Browns and that is oh so exciting. It should have been oh so exciting to see Justin Fields get his first start for the Bears, but it was pretty much the opposite of exciting. In fact, it was humiliating. Myles Garrett had 4 ½ sacks on the rookie QB, which is a franchise record. Thankfully, I started the Cleveland defense who brought Fields down nine times in total while holding Chicago to just 1 net yard passing the entire game! It was a good day for Browns fans and a day Bears fans started to look for brown paper bags to put over their heads.

Ravens @ Lions 19-17

History was made when Justin Tucker kicked a 66 yard field goal that bounced off the crossbar and through to give the Ravens the win. This was one of several games won by a last second field goal this week. Baltimore fans were elated, while Lions fans, thinking they might have their first win of the season only to see the ball go through the uprights, had their hopes dashed. (Giants fans can commiserate) 

Colts @ Titans 16-25

Ryan Tannehill threw 3 touchdown passes and 2 interceptions, while Derrick Henry had 28 carries for 113 yards giving the Titans the win. Henry makes those 100+ yard games look easy. I’m so glad I drafted that guy. I’m also glad I’m no longer a Colts fan. These are hard times for them for sure. 

Chargers @ Chiefs 30-24

If you would have told me that the Chiefs would be 1-2 and at the bottom of their division before the season started I would’ve laughed at you. I’m not sure what’s going on with KC but they better fix it quickly. The team didn’t even know that their coach Andy Ried wasn’t feeling well and had to be rushed to the hospital (he’s ok). Regardless, it's not a good start for the Chiefs. They need to do better. 

 

Saints @ Patriots 28-13

Jameis Winston from week one showed up having 2 touchdowns and zero interceptions, while Mac Jones had 3 interceptions, one of which being a pick six. The Patriots have not been 0-2 at home since Belichick’s first season as a Patriot. It’s not going to get any easier for them as the Bucs come to town next week. 

Falcons @ NY Giants 17-14

This is the second week in a row that we’ve lost on a last second field goal. I don’t know what to say. “I’m disappointed” just doesn't convey how utterly upset I am at this team. I have no words, only if you think your team is bad, play the Giants, it’ll make you feel better. 

Bengals @ Steelers 24-10

Any day that the Steelers lose is a good day, but when the Bengals beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh, that’s a spectacular day! Ben Roethlisberger was sacked 4 times and picked off twice. On the other side of the ball Joe Burrow had three touchdown passes and only one interception. 

Cardinals @ Jaguars 31-19

While Justin Tucker made history kicking the longest field goal, Matt Prater tried to do the same, only his attempt was 68 yards, and the ball fell short into the arms of Jamal Agnew who returned it for a 109 yard touchdown, which also made history being the longest “kick 6”. 

 

Jets @ Broncos 0-26

As mad as I am about the Giants, at least I’m not a Jets fan. Can we say SHUTOUT! The Broncos have now trampled the Giants, Jags, and Jets by a combined 76-26. Man oh man. You’re welcome Broncos fans. 

Dolphins @ Raiders 28-31 OT

The Raiders played another overtime game to get the win.  This time it was a field goal to seal the deal. Dolphins fans, you can commiserate with Lions and Giants fans. I’m happy for the Raiders though, starting off 3-0 for the first time in, I don’t know, forever? Darren Waller didn’t have a great game, but it was good enough to get me the win in fantasy. 

Buccaneers @ Rams 24-34

Speaking of fantasy, Cooper Kupp was my MVP this week with 2 touchdowns, 9 receptions, and 96 yards. Keep up the good work!  I really didn’t think the Rams were going to win this game, but I’m glad they did. It’s nice to see Brady lose once in a while. 

Seahawks @ Vikings 17-30

This game’s final score shocked me. The Seahawks must be having an off season. The Vikings never should’ve won. I don’t really know what else to say. Maybe it was opposite day for these two teams? 

 

Packers @ 49ers 30-28

Hey 49ers fans, I’ll add you to the list of teams that lost due to last second field goals. It’s a big pity party this week. You join the Lions, Giants, and Dolphins fans. It was a pretty spectacular game, if you’re a Packers fan. If you didn’t watch this game, basically, Aaron Rodgers had 30 seconds left at the end of the game to march down the field to get into field goal range to give Mason Cosby a chance to win the game. So, of course, that’s what he did. He’s the 30 seconds or less guy, which is a good thing in football, but that’s where it starts and ends. 

Eagles @ Cowboys 

Peyton and Eli strike again. Their show is pure gold. In an unwatchable game, with my two most hated teams, I stayed up way past my bedtime watching just because of the Mannings. At one point a new edgy version of Eli gave the double bird on live tv, thinking that it could be blurred. He then apologized saying, "Sorry, earlier I gave the double bird. I guess that’s frowned upon, so I apologize if I offended anybody. That’s just what a 9-year-old did to me and I thought I could do it back.” Unfortunately, the Mannings are taking a 3 week break from Monday Night Football. Their contract only includes 10 games, and in doing the math of a 17 game season, there will be some Mondays without the Mannings. Tear.

About the actual game, eh. It was bad. The Cowboys trounced the Eagles. I just wished it had ended in a tie. 

WEEK 4

Thursday, September 30th

Jaguars (0-3) @ Bengals (2-1) (8:20pm NFL)

I picked up the Bengals defense for this game. Therefore I’m picking the Bengals to win this game. 

Sunday, October 3rd

Washington (1-2) @ Falcons (1-2) (1pm FOX)

My opponent this week has most of the Football Team in his line up. So this week I’m going to have to root for Atlanta, which pains me a little bit. I’m picking the Falcons to win this game, but won’t be surprised if they don’t. 

Texans (1-2) @ Bills (2-1) (1pm CBS)

I’m picking the Bills to win this game. It should be a blow out. Maybe I should switch teams and become a Bills fan… nah. 

Lions (0-3)  @ Bears (1-2) (1pm FOX)

Bears coach Matt Nagy is in the hot seat as he has not named a starter for QB yet. Justin Fields, Andy Dalton, and Nick Foles are his options. He should go with Fields, and instill a little confidence in the kid. Who knows. Regardless I think I’m going to pick the Lions to win this game.

Colts (0-3) @ Dolphins (1-2)  (1pm CBS)

Maybe the Colts will get their first win of the season. I won’t hold my breath. I think I’ll pick the Dolphins to win this game, that way my former team and my current team can be 0-4 together. 

Panthers (3-0) @ Cowboys (2-1) (1pm FOX)

I hate to say it, but I think the Cowboys are going to win this game. The Panthers were able to win without CMC last week but I don’t think they’ll be lucky enough this week. 

 

Browns (2-1) @ Vikings (1-2) (1pm CBS)

This will be a tough game but I want and need the Browns to come out on top. I’m picking Cleveland for the win. 

NY Giants (0-3)  @ Saints (2-1) (1pm FOX)

I’m a goldfish. But I’m still picking the Saints to win. GO GMEN! 

Titans (2-1) @ NY Jets (0-3) (1pm CBS)

I’m hoping that Derrick Henry has his best game ever against the Jets. I’m picking the Titans to win this game, more like annihilate the Jets. 

Chiefs (1-2) @ Eagles (2-1) (1pm CBS)

I have no idea what’s going on with the Chiefs but they’ve got to get their stuff together. I really don’t think they’ll lose this game. I’m picking KC for the win. 

Cardinals (3-0) @ Rams (3-0) (4:05pm FOX)

This should be a really good game. I’m picking the Rams to win this game, only because they are the home team. I wish they both could win. I just hope that it’s a high scoring game because I need both Kyler Murray and Cooper Kupp to have stellar games. 

Seahawks (1-2) @ 49ers (2-1) (4:05pm FOX)

The Seahawks have only won on the road this season, and the 49ers have yet to win at home. With those factors I’m picking the Seahawks to win this game. 

Ravens (2-1) @ Broncos (3-0) (4:25pm CBS)

Lamar Jackson is pretty beat up going into this game and might not play on Sunday. In either case I’m picking the Broncos to win this game. 

Steelers (1-2)  @ Packers (2-1) (4:25pm CBS)

I’m going to have to pick the Packers to win this game for obvious reasons. 

Buccaneers (2-1) @ Patriots (1-2) (8:20pm NBC)

This is pretty much the game of the week. Tom Brady, and Gronk, heading back to Foxborough. I’d like to see the Patriots win this game but it’s highly unlikely. Begrudgingly I’m picking the Bucs to win this game. 

Monday, October 4th 

Raiders (3-0) @ Chargers (2-1) (8:15pm ESPN)

The Manning’s aren’t calling this game so It’ll be hard to watch. I’d like to see the Raiders win, mainly because of Darren Waller. It’ll be the Raiders second Monday night game this season, and I’m picking them for the win. 

GO GMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the edit Eric!

The Shenoa Report Week 3 '21 #theshenoareport

The Shenoa Report

September 23, 2021

Regular Season Week 3

Monday Night Football with Peyton and Eli is my new favorite tv show. It doesn’t matter who’s playing as long as the Mannings are commentating. When Peyton retired 5 years ago I only had his commercials to look forward to. And then when Eli retired I went into a Manning withdrawal. MNF is just the fix I didn’t know I needed. If you haven’t watched the ESPN2 broadcast of MNF, do yourself a favor, and watch. You won’t be disappointed. Speaking of disappointment, the NY Giants. That is all. 

I went 10-6 in my picks this week and am 2-0 in fantasy. 

Here’s the recap of week 2. 

NY Giants @ Washington 29-30

Washington didn’t win this game, the Giants lost it. Dumb, stupid, unnessasary penalties and not catching perfectly thrown passes cost us this game. For once, Danny did his job. He didn’t turn the ball over, had zero interceptions or fumbles, and most importantly he did not trip and fall on the grass. The O line on the other hand seemed to do everything wrong. I’m so frustrated already, and we’ve only played 2 games. AHHHHHHHHHHH. I can’t even. 

Bengals @ Bears 17-20

I picked the Bears to lose because of Andy Dalton, so of course, he got hurt and taken out of the game. Justin Fields took his place and ended up winning the game for Da Bears.  Joe Burrow didn’t do the Bengles any favors when he threw 3 interceptions on 3 straight passes. Ugh, I hate getting picks wrong. 

Texans @ Browns 21-31

Baker Mayfield is one tough dude. After throwing an interception Baker tried to make a tackle and ended up getting injured on the play. He trotted off the field and proceeded to get his shoulder popped back into its socket and was right back on the field for the next possession. He then had a touchdown pass and rushed for another. Baker is my backup quarterback and he’s done pretty well this season. Nick Chubb is also on my fantasy team and helped me get a huge win over my opponent with 95 rushing yards and a touchdown. Tyrod Taylor didn’t have a good day, he was injured just before the half and unlike Mayfield was not able to return to the game for the Texans. 

Rams @ Colts 27-24

Speaking of injuries, somehow Carson Wentz sprained both of his ankles in this loss to the Rams. You’ve gotta be pretty talented to do that, or pretty accident prone is more like it. Has Wentz ever had a season where he doesn’t injure himself? Sorry Colts fans.  Matt Stafford also re-injured his thumb when it connected with a helmet, but was able to finish the game, throwing the ball to our favorite wide receiver Cooper Kupp time and time again.  Kupp had 2 touchdowns and 163 yards on the day, giving me 36.8 fantasy points. 

Bills @ Dolphins 35-0

The Bills needed to bounce back and they sure did shutting out their division rival. My opponent started Devin Singletary and Josh Allen, so I was a little happy that Josh threw an interception and frustrated that Singletary had 82 yards and a touchdown.  I had Zack Moss (on my bench) so of course he had two touchdowns. The Bills knocked Tua Tagovailoa out of the game with a rib injury.  Jacoby Brissett took over for Tua but couldn’t find the endzone, nor could any other Dolphin on the team. 

Patriots @ Jets 25-6

Sam Darnold is somewhere laughing at the Jets as their new starting quarterback Zack Wilson had zero touchdowns and four interceptions on the day. It was a tough loss for the Jets and an easy win for the Patriots. 

 

49ers @ Eagles 17-11

YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! I was so happy to see this final score. The 49ers bounced back from their injuries, made the appropriate changes, and won the game. That’s really all I could ask for. Woot! 

Raiders  @ Steelers 26-17

I never would’ve picked the Raiders to beat the Steelers but I am oh so glad they did. At one point in the game the NFL Redzone show actually had to apologize for the “adult language” Jon Gruden was spewing that somehow didn’t get censored. In other news, Steelers right guard Trai Turner was ejected from the game after an altercation with the Raiders defensive tackle Solomon Thomas. Video seemed to indicate Turner spit on Thomas, which is what led to the ejection. Disgusting. Note to self: drop any and all Steelers players from my fantasy team, as I will not support a team that allows that nonsense. Finally, Darren Waller wasn’t my MVP this week, but it’s ok, he’s still my number one tight end. 

Saints @ Panthers 7-26

Ooof. Having 6 coaches in COVID-19 protocol really hurt the Saints. Jameis Winston threw 2 interceptions and was sacked 4 times in the loss to the Panthers. Sam Darnold on the other hand had two touchdown passes and only one interception. The Panthers defense also contained Alvin Kamara while the Saints defense couldn’t contain Christian McCaffrey. 

Broncos @ Jaguars 23-13

My prediction was correct. Trevor Lawrence got his second loss of this career. The Broncos held the Jags to under 200 yards on the day. Teddy Bridgewater seems to be right at home under center for the Broncos, with zero turnovers and two touchdowns. Although Courtland Sutton  didn’t have any touchdowns he had just about half of Bridgewater’s passes, ending with 159 yards for the game. This was a good game if you’re a Broncos fan. 

 

Vikings @ Cardinals 33-34

Oh man, the Cards just barely pulled out this win. It came down to a Vikings missed field goal, which would have been the way the Giants won their game, if there wasn’t a penalty for jumping offsides. Yeah, I’m still upset. Anyway, the Cardinals didn’t jump offsides and the kick counted, making the field goal no good. My quarterback, Kylar Murray had 400 yards, 4 total touchdowns, and 2 interceptions, giving me 33 fantasy points. If he fixes the interceptions I could go undefeated this season. 400 yards?! That’s pretty impressive. 

Falcons @ Buccaneers 25-48

Speaking of ridiculous quarterbacks, Tom Brady had 5 touchdowns but only 276 yards. Matt Ryan couldn’t keep pace having only 2 touchdowns and 3 interceptions. I wished that Leonard Fournette would’ve had a touchdown but I’ll take the 52 yards he got me. 

Cowboys @ Chargers 20-17

The Cowboys won on the last play of the game when their kicker Greg Zurlien kicked the game winner. Lame. 

Titans @ Seahawks 33-30 OT

I was a little nervous for this game knowing how Derrick Henry did last week and also knowing that my opponent started DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett. “I just hope that Derrick Henry gets more yards than last week and a couple of touchdowns”, is what I said last week. Dreams really do come true. Derrick Henry is back! 47.7 fantasy points, 182 yards and 3 touchdowns!!!! Thank you for giving me the points I needed to win! Henry had more points than Metcalf (11.3) and Lockett (31.8) combined. At that point I wasn’t even sad I got this pick wrong. Woot Woot! 

 

Chiefs  @ Ravens 35-36

On the other hand, I was sad that I got this pick wrong. I’m not a big fan of the Ravens, but I will commend them on the tribute they had to Michael Kenneth William, “Omar” from The Wire, before the start of the game. Lamar Jackson had never beaten the Chiefs until this game. Rats.  

Lions @ Packers 17-35

The best part of this game was watching the Mannings call it and their last guest Pat McAfee. He’s a hoot!  The Lions and Packers went back and forth, letting each other score, handing the ball back, rinse and repeat for the first half of the game. Aaron Rodgers had a much better game this week with four touchdowns and no interceptions. Jared Goff didn’t fare as well, having only 2 touchdowns and 1 interception. 

 

WEEK 3

Thursday, September 23rd

Panthers (2-0) @ Texans (1-1) (8:20pm NFL)

Rookie quarterback Davis Mills will be getting the start for the Texans as Tyrod Taylor is out with a hamstring injury. That being said I’m going to have to pick the Panthers to win this game. 

Sunday, September 26th

Washington (1-1) @ Bills (1-1) (1pm FOX)

The Bills shouldn’t have any trouble beating the Football Team. Now watch, it’ll be a super close, nail biting, kinda game. My opponent this week has the Bills defense and kicker so I hope my previous sentence is accurate.  Regardless I’m picking the Bills to win. 

Bears (1-1) @ Browns (1-1) (1pm FOX)

Andy Dalton is out and Justin Fields is in for the Bears. Jarvis Landry is on IR for the Browns but OBJ might just take the field for the first time this season. I’m hoping Nick Chubb and the Browns defense have a monster game, as they are both on my fantasy team. I’m picking the Browns to win this game. 

Ravens (1-1)  @ Lions (0-2) (1pm CBS)

I really don’t see the Lions winning this game. I don’t think they can contain Lamar Jackson. As long as Baltimore contains D’Andre Swift things will be fine in fantasy land. I’m picking the Ravens to win. 

Colts (0-2) @ Titans (1-1)  (1pm CBS)

Carson Wentz is questionable for this game, even if he wasn’t I would still pick the Titans to win. I’m hoping that Derrick Henry has another stellar game, and season too, for that matter. He was definitely my MVP for week 2. Can he do it again? I hope so. 

Chargers (1-1) @ Chiefs (1-1) (1pm CBS)

I don’t think that the Chargers have much of a chance to win this game. The Chiefs were embarrassed last week and I don’t think they’ll lose two in a row. I’m picking KC to win this game. 

 

Saints (1-1) @ Patriots (1-1) (1pm FOX)

I guess it’ll all depend on which Jameis Winston shows up. If it's Jameis from week one it should be a good game with a good chance of a Saints win. If it’s Jameis from week two, there will be zero chance of a Saints win. I think I’m going to pick the Patriots to win this game. 

Falcons (0-2)  @ NY Giants (0-2) (1pm FOX)

Eli’s jersey is being retired and he’s being inducted into the Ring of Honor during halftime at this game. So, I am going to break my rule. This is probably the only game this season that the Giants could and should win as long as they don’t make stupid mistakes. I am picking the Giants to win this game. Dear Giants, please don’t make stupid mistakes for stupid penalties, and hang onto the ball, and score lots of touchdowns. I know this is a tall order. Do it for Eli, do it for me! Love, shenoa. PS GO GMEN!

Bengals (1-1) @ Steelers (1-1) (1pm CBS)

Ben Roethlisberger has a slight tear in his left pectoral muscle but still plans to play. I’m sad to say that even with a broken Ben the Steelers should win this game. I hope I’m wrong. I’m picking the Bengals to lose and I’m not happy about it. I have Chase Claypool on my fantasy team and I’m hoping to trade him away so I don’t have anything to do with this organization. 

Cardinals (2-0) @ Jaguars (0-2) (1pm FOX)

I’m picking the Cardinals to win and hope that Kylar Murray has at least a six touchdown game. 

 

Jets (0-2) @ Broncos (2-0) (4:05pm CBS)

Even with what seems like half the Broncos team on the injury report I am still picking Denver to win this game. 

Dolphins (1-1) @ Raiders (2-0) (4:05pm CBS)

I think that the Raiders are going to be 3-0 at the end of this game. Tua is probably not going to play for the Dolphins and the Raiders have two strong wins under their belt going into this game. As long as Darren Waller has a good game I’ll be happy. 

Buccaneers (2-0) @ Rams (2-0) (4:25pm FOX)

As much as I’d like to see the Rams win this game, I don’t think that they will. I do hope they put a lot of pressure on Tom Brady, my opponent’s QB this week. I must say I like to see Brady pout. I’ll be rooting for the Rams, especially my little Cooper Kupp, but picking the Bucs to win this game. 

Seahawks (1-1)  @ Vikings (0-2) (4:25pm FOX)

I’ll be rooting for and picking the Seahawks to win this game for no other reason than, I don’t like Kirk Cousins. 

 

Packers (1-1) @ 49ers (2-0) (8:20pm NBC)

I think that the 49ers are going to get their first loss of the season. I’m picking the Packers to win this game. 

Monday September 27th

Eagles (1-1) @ Cowboys (1-1) (8:15pm ESPN)

Other than the Giants game, this is the game I’m most looking forward to. Not because of the teams, but because of the Mannings. I’m curious to see what Eli has to say about these two teams. I’m hoping for a tie, but if I had to pick who will lose this game it would be the Cowboys. Rather than pick a winner, because I don’t like either team I’m picking a loser. Although, they are both losers in my book. GO MANNINGS!!!!! 

GO GMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the edit Eric!

The Shenoa Report Week 2 '21 #theshenoareport

The Shenoa Report

September 16, 2021

Regular Season Week 2

You guys! Week one was a rollercoaster of emotions ending Monday night in a fantastical affair. I hope you stayed up to watch. I did, and days later I’m still jazzed.  Honestly, I don’t know where to start. In this report I’ll  address the Saints potential outbreak, Manning Monday Night Football, fantasy football, injuries, and my stupid NY Giants, as well as the recap of week 1 and my picks for week 2.  

I went 9-7 in my picks this week and am 1-0 in fantasy after an unbelievable comeback thanks to Darren Waller. 

Cowboys @ Buccaneers 29-31

I really didn’t think this game would be even remotely close. My opponent had Dak Prescott and Chris Godwin so I was down 50 points before Sunday even started. Dak was playing lights out, and Tom Brady’s favorite target seemed to be Godwin. Things didn’t look good for me. The game itself was very entertaining, though I went to bed with 4 minutes left in the game, with Dallas leading. Brady did his thing and the Bucs got their first win of the season. 

Steelers @ Bills 23-16

All Bills fans are like, welp, here we go again. Buffalo was up 10-0 at the half and then in true Bills fashion gave the game away. I was having a tough time with this game because I can’t stand the Steelers, but drafted Chase Claypool, and found myself obviously rooting for him to get touches. I might have to trade him or drop him because it’s too painful to support the Steelers in any way. I’m sorry Bills fans, this was a tough loss. 

Eagles @ Falcons 32-6

Stupid Falcons and stupid Eagles.  The Falcons are stupid because they didn’t even attempt to beat the Eagles and the Eagles are stupid because they are the Eagles. Jalen Hurts threw three touchdown passes, his first going to the Heisman winner, DeVonta Smith (who the Giants were supposed to draft and yes, I’m still bitter about it). I think the only silver lining in this game was that my opponent had Mike Davis and only had 49 yards rushing. 

Vikings @ Bengals 24-27 OT

It took overtime, but the Bengals finally won a game on week 1. It looked  like the Vikings were going to win the game but Dalvin Cook fumbled the ball and Cincinnati recovered it, setting up a game winning field goal. It was a good ending to the game, in my opinion. 

49ers @ Lions  41-33

The 49ers won this game but it came at a high cost. Raheem Mostert and Jason Verrett left the game with season ending injuries. Elijah Mitchell took over Mostert’s role with a 38-yard touchdown run and finished with 104 yards rushing. And Richard Sherman might be back in the red and gold to take over Verrett’s position. Only time will tell. 

Cardinals @ Titans 38-13

This game was for the birds, well the Cardinals anyway. I was so excited when I drafted Derrick Henry until he “played” this game. He only had 58 yards on the day. It was embarrassing. Thankfully I also started Kyler Murray who had 5 total touchdowns (4 passing and 1 rushing)  and 289 passing yards. I’m so glad I drafted that guy. 

 

Seahawks @ Colts 28-16

Sometimes it comes down to who has the better quarterback and in this case it was definitely the Seahawks.  Despite not taking any preseason snaps it was Russell Wilson who was on point for this game with 4 touchdown passes. Carson Wentz only had 2 and even more surprising, no interceptions, though not so surprising he had a fumble. I kinda feel sorry for all those Colts fans out there, it’s going to be a long season. 

Chargers @ Washington 20-16

The Football Team lost Ryan Fitzpatrick to a hip injury, there’s an old person joke in there somewhere, and ultimately lost the game too. His backup, Taylor Heinicke, took over but wasn’t as impressive as his playoff heroics during the wildcard game last season. The Chargers made me more than nervous because my opponent had Keenan Allen and Austin Ekeler on her team and Justin Herbert was lighting both of them up, while Washington’s defense wasn’t doing anything to stop them. I was happy with the Washington loss because the Giants aren’t alone at the bottom of the NFC East. 

Jets @ Panthers 14-19

Sam Darnold beat his former team, but there isn’t much else to write about this game, other than Christian McCaffrey who is basically the Panthers. McCaffrey had 98 rushing yards and 89 receiving yards, while the Jets total yards for the entire offense was 252. Ouch. 

Jaguars @ Texans 21-37

Tyrod Taylor and the rest of the Houston Texans embarrassed Trevor Lawrence and new head coach Urban Myer. This was Trevor’s first regular season loss, in his entire career, and that’s counting highschool and college! Rumor says Urban Myer is contemplating going back to coaching in college because after the first game he’s found he can’t hang in the NFL. It was nice to see Tyrod starting again, and doing well, as it seems that he almost always gets the short end of the stick. I had no skin in this game fantasy wise so it was just nice to see Tyrod shine. 

 

Browns @ Chiefs 29-33

Oh man, I like both of these teams so it was tough to see the Browns lose, especially with a Nick Chubb fumble, because that hurt me in fantasy. My opponent had Travis Kelsey so that also hurt me. Cleveland put up 60 more total yards than KC but had two turnovers, which ultimately decided the game. Both teams looked really good otherwise, and it was a fun game to watch. 

Dolphins @ Patriots 17-16

The Dolphins are alone at the top of the AFC East, which is a sentence I never thought I would write. It’s early in the season.  New England should have and could have won this game if they hadn’t committed two costly turnovers. They had close to 150 more total yards and dominated the possession time. On paper, they should’ve won this game. 

Packers @ Saints 3-38

Yikes! If you would’ve told me that Jameis Winston would outplay Aaron Rodgers I would’ve laughed in your face and thought you were crazy. Rodgers had 0 touchdowns and 2 interceptions, while Winston had 0 interceptions and 5 touchdowns. No, that is not a typo. There really isn’t much else to say about this game because you probably wouldn’t believe it anyway. 

Broncos @ NY Giants 27-13

The Associated Press said, “For the first time since Peyton Manning retired after winning Super Bowl 50, the Denver Broncos may have a quarterback. All it took was 11 tries.” I’m glad the Giants could make the Broncos feel good. Wait, no I’m not. Ugh. This is going to be a long season. Saquon Barkley started his first game since week 2 of last season, and he was eehhh. But that’s not his fault, it’s the rest of the Giants. Did I mention it’s going to be a long season? It’s going to be a long season. To add insult to injury Kenny Golladay and Gram Gano did not help me at all in fantasy. Ugh, at least I got this pick right.

 

Bears @ Rams 14-34

Matt Stafford has always been decent but now he has a team that could make him great. His second pass as a Ram traveled 53 yards to Van Jefferson for a touchdown. Stafford couldn’t have had a better start in LA. The Bears on the other hand, had Andy Dalton mixed in with a little Justin Fields and it just wasn’t as good. I was elated as I started Cooper Kupp, who had 108 yards and a touchdown. Thanks my little Cooper Kupp and thanks Mr. Stafford for having him as your favorite target. Keep up the good work! 

Ravens @ Raiders 27-33 OT

This was quite possibly my favorite game of week 1. Mostly because Peyton and Eli Manning “called” the game on ESPN2. They were entertaining, hilarious, and it was just the best. I can’t wait for next Monday. I don’t even care who’s playing, I know if the Mannings are on, I’ll be watching it! 

OK, so I went into this game 24.5 points down in fantasy and had a 12% chance of winning. So you’re telling me there’s a chance. Darren Waller was projected to get 12 points, clearly not enough for me to win. Derrick Carr started off the game targeting Waller but kept over throwing him. I was frustrated, Carr was frustrated, Waller was for sure frustrated and even the Mannings voiced their frustration. Eli said at one point, “Do targets count in fantasy?!” When regular time had expired, Waller had 19 targets, 10 receptions, 105 yards, and a touchdown and gave me 25.5 fantasy points! His touchdown came at the end of the game, which tied it and after field goals by both teams the game was sent into overtime. 

I had looked at my fantasy match up after the Waller touchdown and saw that I had taken the lead. I was so nervous when the game went into overtime because I couldn’t afford Waller to get the ball and then fumble it. Thankfully Carr had a new target in OT and it didn’t matter. Overtime was just as nail biting as the rest of the game in which the Raiders thought they had won the game with a Bryan Edwards touchdown only to see in replay that his knee was down at the 1 yard line. Then on the 3rd down Carr threw an interception in the endzone.  After the interception, when the Ravens were driving Lamar Jackson fumbled the ball, and the Raiders took possession. At that point all Las Vegas needed was a field goal, and just before they were going to kick it they had a delay of game and were pushed out of field goal position. Finally, Carr was blitzed and unloaded the ball far down the field connecting with Zay Jones, (who’s that? Everyone thought, including the Mannings) for the game winning touchdown! 

What a game. 

 

WEEK 2

Thursday, September 16th

NY Giants (0-1) @ Washington (0-1) (8:20pm NFL)

This might be the only game that the Giants win this season. I don’t have high hopes. I’m just thankful that this game is Thursday so a Giants loss won’t ruin my weekend. Evan Engram is out again, Saquon Barkley is questionable, and we still have Danny Jones, so my expectations are quite low. Which reminds me, I should change my fantasy football name. The Giants only hope is playing against an unseasoned quarterback in Taylor Heinicke. We’ll see. I’m picking the Football Team to win, because of my stupid rule of not picking the Giants until they actually win a game. 

Sunday, September 19th

Bengals (1-0) @ Bears (0-1) (1pm FOX)

It would be poetic for Andy Dalton to play his former team and get the W. I just don’t see that happening. I’m picking the Bengals to win this game, mainly because I don’t think Andy Dalton is any good. 

Texans (1-0) @ Browns (0-1) (1pm CBS)

This should be a fun game and a good game. I need the Browns to play better, for fantasy reasons. I’m picking the Browns to win their first game of the season. 

Rams (1-0)  @ Colts (0-1) (1pm FOX)

I think that Carson Wentz is garbage and therefore am picking the Rams to win this game. 

Bills (0-1) @ Dolphins (1-0)  (1pm FOX)

The Bills need to bounce back, also I think the Dolphins win last week was a fluke. I’m picking Buffalo to win their first game of the season, and then maybe they’ll be tied for first place. But, only if the next game ↓↓ ends in a tie. 

Patriots (0-1) @ Jets (0-1) (1pm CBS)

Wouldn’t it be great if this game ended in a tie? I don’t think that’s likely, I think that the Patriots will get their first win of the season. 

 

49ers (1-0) @ Eagles (1-0) (1pm FOX)

I really hope that the 49ers crush the Eagles. Though the 49ers are pretty beat up already. What the heck, I’m still going to pick the 49ers to win this game. Eagles suck! 

Raiders (1-0)  @ Steelers (1-0) (1pm CBS)

It would be amazing if the Raiders upset the Steelers. I’ll be rooting for them for sure, especially my MVP Darren Waller. But if I were betting for real, I’d pick the Steelers to win this game. Lame. 

Saints (1-0) @ Panthers (1-0) (1pm FOX)

After the way the Saints played last week I’m going to have to pick them to beat the Panthers. And they will, if they get the COVID-19 outbreak under control AND contain the only player that does anything good on the team, Christian McCaffrey. 

Broncos (1-0) @ Jaguars (0-1) (1pm CBS)

My prediction is that Trevor Lawrence gets his second loss of this career. I’m picking the Broncos to win this game. 

 

Vikings (0-1) @ Cardinals (1-0) (4:05pm FOX)

I need Kylar Murray to have another monster of a game. I’ll also get much glee from watching the Vikings lose. I’m picking the Cardinals to win this game. 

Falcons (0-1) @ Buccaneers (1-0) (4:05pm FOX)

As long as Tom Brady is on the Bucs I’ll most likely be picking them for the win. I’m going with Tampa over Atlanta. 

Cowboys (0-1) @ Chargers (1-0) (4:25pm CBS)

Of course I’m picking the Chargers to win this game. That’s a no brainer. 

Titans (0-1) @ Seahawks (1-0) (4:25pm CBS)

I just hope that Derrick Henry gets more yards than last week and a couple of touchdowns. I’m still going to pick the Seahawks to win this game. 

 

Chiefs (1-0) @ Ravens 0-1) (8:20pm NBC)

I’m pretty sure that the Chiefs will win this game. The Ravens also have a lot of injuries and continue to make a lot of mistakes. I’m picking KC for the W. 

Monday September 19th

Lions (0-1) @ Packers (0-1) (8:15pm ESPN)

After the embarrassment of last week for both teams I’m picking the Packers to bounce back and win their first game of the season. 

GO GMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the edit Eric!

The Shenoa Report Week 1 '21 #theshenoareport

The Shenoa Report
September 9, 2021
Regular Season Week 1

Welcome back football, welcome back readers, welcome back The Shenoa Report.
This will be my 12th season writing this blog. I started it after a number of people asked me for my opinion on football and what teams they should root for. Please know that I am very biased, and this report is just my opinion!

The last time I wrote, the Chiefs and the Buccaneers were headed to the Super Bowl. Ugh, I know what you’re thinking, another Tom Brady Super Bowl. Of course Brady got another ring, and of course the majority of football fans were not happy with the outcome, myself included. Though it was nice to see Tom let loose after the game, complete with public intoxication and throwing the Lombardi Trophy all willy nilly from one boat to another. That’s enough about that.

Trevor Lawrance went #1 in the draft going to the Jaguars. The draft was live from Cleveland, taking place outside, with social distancing. Thanks covid, because yeah, that’s still with us. #getthejabalready. The Giants were slated to get the Hismen winner, wide receiver Devanta Smith, until the stupid Eagles moved up and stole the pick from us. PS I hate the Eagles. They ruined our season last year, and probably ruined our season already this year. Moving on…

Drew Pearson, Tom Flores, Peyton Manning (WOOT WOOT!), John Lynch, Calvin Johnson (Megatron), Alan Faneca, and Charles Woodson were inducted into the Hall of Fame. I’m not going to lie, I cried through Peyton’s speech. He’s so amazing.
Some notable moves in the off season include the Chargers losing Hunter Henry to the Patriots, but picking up Jared Cook from the Saints. The Lions and the Rams traded quarterbacks, Jared Goff to the Lions and Matt Stafford to the Rams. Carson Wentz is now a Colt and started the preseason in covid protocol. I’m sure they are already calling Andrew Luck to come out of retirement. The Bears traded up in the first round of the draft to pick up Justin Fields, who should be their starting quarterback after Andy Dalton inevitably screws up, and Will Fuller is now a Dolphin.

The Cowboys were the stars of HBO’s Hard Knocks this season, so I learned that Dak had 2 surgeries on his ankle, not just one. And because it was the Cowboys I scowled the whole time I watched and got a little nauseous every time Jerry Jones was on the screen, and it was a lot.
In other news, as of today, 93.5% of NFL players are at least partially vaccinated.
This season, football’s 102nd, will be a little different than last, for obvious reasons, but also different from previous pre-pandemic seasons in that there were only 3 preseason games this year. There was a bye week before the start of the season and there will be 17, not 16, regular season games. Also, teams with Covid-19 positives will be in jeopardy of forfeiting games, rather than postponement.
Speaking of the preseason, there were some pretty big moves and injuries, so hopefully your fantasy league was like mine and just had their draft two nights ago. If you drafted earlier, I hope you don’t have RB Travis Etienne of JAX - out with a season ending injury, RB J.K. Dobbins of BAL - out with a season ending injury, or QB Cam Newton who is now a free agent after being released by the Pats.

Ready, set, let’s do this!

Now...

WEEK 1
Thursday, September 9th
Cowboys @ Buccaneers (8:20pm NBC)
The Cowboys went 0-4 in the preseason, even though there were only 3 preseason games (they played in the Hall of Fame Game). I don’t think they’ll get their first win in the regular season against the Buccaneers. The Bucs are basically the Brooklyn Nets or LA Lakers of the NFL in that they are signing big names for short contracts in hopes of another Super Bowl Ring. I mean, it worked out for them last year. I’m picking the Bucs to win their first game of the season.





Sunday, September 12th




Steelers @ Bills (1pm CBS)

I know the Bills have been pretty decent for the last couple of years but it still feels weird to say it. They won their division last year and will probably do the same this season. The Steelers haven’t been good for the past couple of years, and that also seems weird to say. I predict that the Bills will continue to trend upwards while the Steelers continue to trend downward. With all that being said I’m picking the Bills to win their home opener.




Eagles @ Falcons (1pm FOX)

Both teams are subpar. If the Falcons can finish all four quarters they’ll probably win this game. PS I hate the Eagles and therefore am picking the Falcons to win this game.





Vikings @ Bengals (1pm FOX)

Joe Burrow will be back under center for the Bengals after a season ending injury last year. For the Vikings, Kirk Cousins, in my opinion, isn’t that great. In conclusion, I’m picking the Bengals to win their home opener.




49ers @ Lions (1pm FOX)

The Lions have a new quarterback this season in Jarred Goff, as well as a new head coach, and for the first time ever they don’t have anyone on the injury report. With all that said, I’m going to pick the 49ers to win this game. Who knows how long Jimmy G will be under center for the 49ers… It should be a fun game to watch.





Cardinals @ Titans (1pm CBS)

Derrick Henry was my very first overall pick in my fantasy draft and Kyler Murry is my starting quarterback. Therefore, I hope this game is high scoring! I’m picking the Titans to win this game, and I hope that Murry doesn’t throw any interceptions.



Seahawks @ Colts (1pm FOX)

Well, the Colts starting quarterback is Carson Wentz, and in my opinion he’s pretty terrible. So, I’m going to pick the Seahawks to win this game, even though I’m starting the Colts defense in fantasy.





Chargers @ Washington (1pm CBS)

The Football Team apparently has a good defense, according to preseason. But preseason doesn’t count. This is a tough one. I’m going to have to go with Fitzmagic and Washington to win this game.




Jets @ Panthers (1pm CBS)

Quick! Name the starting quarterbacks for these two teams! …. One of them is Sam Darnold, but he doesn’t play for the Jets anymore. The Jets are trying out another new quarterback in Zach Wilson. NY cycles through quarterbacks every couple of seasons, thinking that it will help their team get some wins. Unfortunately for the Jets, they need more than just a new quarterback. They need a whole new team, coaching staff, and GM. I’m picking the Panthers to win this game.




Jaguars @ Texans (1pm CBS)

Tyrod Taylor has been named the starting quarterback for Houston and although he’s been in the league for several years he’s on a new team this season. He has Deshawn Watson to thank for his starting position. With all the drama and legalities surrounding Watson the Texans had to go in a different direction. The Jaguars also have a new starting quarterback, rookie Trevor Lawrence, the first pick of the draft. Both teams had terrible seasons last year, but I think that the Texans will win their home opener.



Browns @ Chiefs (4:25pm CBS)

I don’t know if it's because of Hard Knocks a few seasons ago or what but I have a soft spot for the Browns. It’s the reason I probably won’t win my fantasy league this year. I drafted, again, Nick Chubb and OBJ, added Baker Mayfield as my backup QB, and took the Browns defense. Patrick Mahomes was my QB last year so I guess you could say I took a major downgrade. Regardless, I like both teams, and will obviously be rooting for the Browns but I’m picking the Chiefs to win this game.




Dolphins @ Patriots (4:25pm CBS)

The Dolphins won’t have Fitzmagic to bail Tua out when things get tough and they will inevitably get tough. On the other side of the field, the Pats no longer have “Cam” to run them into the ground and instead they have the inverse in “Mac” Jones, rookie quarterback. I’m picking the Patriots to win this game, although I do have players on both teams that hopefully will help me fantasy wise.




Packers @ Saints (4:25pm FOX)

This game will be played in Jacksonville as the game was moved because of recovery efforts in New Orleans following Hurricane Ida. The Saints are currently training in the Dallas area because of the storm and could be there the entire month of September. The Saints also have a new starting quarterback, Jameis Winston, after Drew Brees retired at the end of last season. All that being said, I'm picking last season’s MVP Aaron Rodgers to lead the Packers to win this game.




Broncos @ NY Giants (4:25pm FOX)

Ugh. This is going to be a long season. The Giants are now in their fifth “rebuilding” year and don’t seem to be getting any better. I could go on and on about how terrible they’ve been but I need to save some of my words for the rest of this season. I named my fantasy team GIANT Expectations, with the hopes of drafting Saquon Barkley. It’s like all those memes “Summer Plans - Delta Variant” my summer plans were Saquon, I ended up with Kenny Golladay and Gram Gano… I’m picking the Broncos to win this game. GO GMEN!






Bears @ Rams (8:20pm NBC)

The Rams now have Matt Stafford and the Bears have Andy Dalton. Fun fact, Andy Dalton was 32nd in every starting quarterback ranking, from best to worst, in the NFL for this season. I must say I’d have to agree with that ranking. Matt Stafford was ranked 11th, which is debatable. I’m going to have to pick the Rams to win this game.





Monday September 13th




Ravens @ Raiders (8:15pm ESPN/ABC)

The Las Vegas Raiders have the most strict guidelines for attending a home game. All fans must have proof of vaccination in order to be admitted into the stadium, just a negative test will not do. If you are not vaccinated upon arrival you can still get in once you get the jab as long as you wear your mask while in attendance. I think it's a genius set of rules and hope more venues move that way. I don’t think the Raiders will win this game but I sure do like their style. I never thought I’d say this but I think I would feel most safe at a Raiders home game. PS, I’m picking the Ravens to win this game.





Happy Week One!!!!!





GO GMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Thanks for the edit Eric!